Ladies, listen to what a man says. Specifically regarding when he says he’s not looking for a relationship or he’s not ready. Even if he’s displaying “relationship type” actions such as texting you “Good Morning” everyday (which is lame by the way…let’s not be so common men…and let’s not be so easily moved ladies), saying “I miss you”, “I think about you all the time even when I don’t call or text” (dude, how about you call or text), “I wanna hold you”, “we connect”, “God sent you to me”, “you’re wifey”…and the list goes on and on. I’m sure I can write a complete blog about the words that come out of a man’s mouth that will have you saying, “do ya’ll all read from the same book?”. Some of you need an updated copy and not the signed collectors edition.
Ladies, didn’t God say there’s nothing new under the sun? Please apply this to your dating life and stop being so gullible. Even the enemy knows to revamp his tricks against you. That’s why we often get tripped up. The enemy doesn’t hide in plain sight. He knows we’re smarter than that. What we use to struggle with 5, 10, 15 years ago is no longer an issue. You may be experiencing a derivative of that struggle but not the same. So the enemy is forced to up his game. Fortunately, most men aren’t that smart but there are a few out there who are so its important for you to stay on top of your game.
“Above everything else, guard your heart; for it is the source of life’s consequences” Proverbs 4:23 CJB
Ladies, we are very emotional beings and this doesn’t always work in our favor. So the sweet nothings a man whispers in your ear, the kind words, the gentle touch can often translate into wedding bells. We really gotta work on that. I’m becoming a huge believer in self talk. Yes, I talk to myself and sometimes answer. I was telling a friend just the other day that I feel like I talk to myself more than I talk to other people. But why not? The world is so loud. Telling you how you should look, how you should think and that can sometimes drown out what God says about you. So yes, I am sometimes on a bullhorn telling Trina…you are fearfully and wonderfully made, you were made in His image, you are the apple of His eye, etc, etc. And if the batteries die in my bullhorn I have friends blaring in my ear those same things.
You gotta have a squad. I thank God for mine…a very diverse group of ladies…and a few gents but they are able to talk me off a ledge.
I have one friend, let’s call her “Stone Cold Steve Austin”, home girl don’t play. If a man says, those three words…”I’m Not Ready”, she doesn’t care what you say or do after that, she will not think otherwise. A man wou
ld have to explicitly say another three words…”I Am Ready” before she moves forward.
I definitely have to move more toward that mindset.
As much as we’d like men to say what they mean and mean what they say, that may not always happen. So it’s even more important for you as a woman to know what you want and hold true to that. I’ve had several friends say, “why are you so concerned about what he wants, what do you want?”. A lot of times knowing what you want will cancel out any confusion you may have about whether a man wants to commit to you or not. Because let me tell you, a man with a plan is not thinking about you. He cannot be moved. If he says I’m focused on work, school, whatever. Trust him, he is and his focus will not be deterred. We as women will change our focus plan into a flexible plan for a man.
All I’m saying ladies is listen to the words that are coming out of his mouth. Those initial words…that will determine the fate and direction of that relationship. Words and actions need to align.
Hopefully it didn’t sound like I was going on a tangent, ranting and raving or man bashing. Far from it. Nor am I lecturing. What I write is from my experience and my perspective. I’m talking to little Trina as well as the grown up Trina who has it all together…haha, I wish!
My goal is to empower women. We can be so strong and so smart in so many different areas but that three letter word…MEN, can turn a PhD into a pre-school diploma. So if my pitfalls can help you overcome yours or better yet, never experience them at all then I’ve accomplished what I set out to do.
Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!