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50 Self Care Ideas – Subscribe to View List!

I have a friend who harps on self-care.  I honestly don’t think we ever get through an entire conversation without those two words being mentioned at least once.  So what is self-care?

Self-care can be defined as….

“…any necessary human regulatory function which is under individual control, deliberate and self-initiated.”  wikipedia.com

“care of the self without medical or other professional consultation.” dictionary.com

“care for oneself” merriam-webster.com

But if you ask me, self-care is some good old-fashioned and much needed “me” time.  

Define it as you will, it should include some type of mental, physical or spiritual rejuvenation.  

Why is it important?

There is a Bible scripture that says, “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.”  Matthew 5:13 NIV

Well, the same goes for us as women.  If we lose our savor, lose our shine or our glow due to the hustle and bustle and the daily demands of life, what good are we to anyone?  We become more susceptible to the tricks of the enemy and can even become more emotional which could cause us to lose direction, focus and purpose. Gary Chapman (author of The Five Love Languages) mentions a love tank; well let’s talk about our self-love tank. Just like a car needs fuel to drive we need fuel to live….effectively, that is.  It’s time we stop driving on fumes and take the time to fill up.  

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

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Love Song

With the month of love or rather the one day in the year set aside to celebrate love behind us, and the season of love about to spring upon us…do you hear the wedding bells? I thought it only fitting to write a blog post about…you guessed it…Love.

So what is love?

Kirk Franklin starts off his song with…”Love a word that comes and goes But few people really know what it means to really love somebody…”

Musiq Soulchild says, “Love, So many people use your name in vain…Love, Those who have faith in you sometimes go astray…”

Two different artists….two different genres yet similar takes on love. However, both are coming from a people perspective of love versus the unfailing love of our heavenly Father.

I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying, “you don’t know, what you don’t know”. What if you’ve never been shown love by your earthly father? What if you were abused or even abandoned by your earthly father? How in the world can father ever equate or translate to Father in this instance? As humans, we often mimic what we’ve been taught. It’s hard to love pass the capacity of what’s in us or what we’ve been shown or received.

So what now? Will I ever know what is to love or be loved?

Absolutely! I said it was hard but not impossible. Anything worth having rarely comes without a little resistance.

I truly believe that people innately know right from wrong, good from bad. And in the same way we know that, we inherently know what it is to love and to be loved.

But just in case you’re still struggling with the concept, let me help you out.

 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16 KJV

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 KJV

Meditate on it…

God loved me so much that He sent His son to die for me? How many of you parents would do that? Sacrifice your only son? daughter? Especially knowing that many would still reject you. In this day and age, we’re ready to “unfriend” a “friend” on Facebook for not “liking” a post. Or even cut people out of our lives who don’t live up to our expectations or standard of friendship we placed on them. So as fickle as we are with our virtual friends, God’s ultimate sacrifice of His love towards us should hit home. Because reality check….WE don’t live up to the expectations and standard of living God placed on us yet He still loves us.

God is patient, God is kind, He is not envious, doesn’t boast, isn’t proud. Never rude, self-seeking or easily angered and He doesn’t keep a list of what I’ve done wrong. God protects, always hopes, always perseveres. God never failed me.

So that’s what love is? That’s what I should expect to give and receive?

Absolutely!

Now let’s circle back to the two song lyrics about love I opened up with. Those were simply excerpts from these songs. If you listen to the songs in their entirety you will be introduced to an entirely new perspective regarding love. Same goes for our lives. If we simply listen to excerpts of what our lives say about love we will never know The Truth.

Don’t go through life singing one verse or stanza of a song. Learn the whole song or better yet write your own verse. As long as you’re alive, and I’m guessing you are since you’re reading this, your song is not over. There are verses still left to be written. Write them! Allow God to hold the pen to the love song of your life.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

I See You

No matter what you may feel
No matter what you may think
No matter what you may see and experience

I see you

No matter what this world may throw your way
No matter what hand you may have been dealt
No matter what the statistics may say

I see you

You are not forgotten
You are not alone
I have saved every tear you cried
And I’m waiting for that glorious day when you see me like I see you

When you see you like I see you

Stop looking around
Wondering what others may see, feel or think
It doesn’t matter because I see you

I see your good and your bad and still love you
I feel every pain inflicted on you
I feel every hurt you’ve had to endure and want to provide you comfort
I think about you everyday
I was thinking of you on the day I breathed my last breath

Do you see me? Do you feel me? Do you think of me?

I am in the acceptance and the rejection
I have provided you comfort when no one else could
I have provided you peace when no one else could
I held you, rocked you to sleep and wiped your tears
Though you may have been lonely, you were never alone
I have carried you and strengthened you when the thought of taking one more step was too much to bear
I was there in the diagnosis and I will be there in the recovery
My promise to never leave you or forsake you hasn’t changed and never will
My love for you is endless

So sweet baby girl, always remember, I see you. Now see me…trust me…seek me…I’m waiting.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

Call To Pray

wall-between-couplesThe other day I woke up with a heavy heart for a friend who is going through a tough situation in his marriage.  I am not married and have never been married so I cannot begin to understand the breadth of what he’s dealing with but my heart still hurts for him.  I have experienced broken relationships and friendships and sometimes it can feel like someone has literally ripped your heart out.  I know my situations do not compare to the bond of marriage but the hurt is still real. I can remember a time in my life where the pain I endured due to a broken relationship was so unbearable that I asked God to take my life in my sleep. Being in heaven with Him was far greater than enduring this heartache here on earth.  God did not honor that request…clearly…I am still here.  What I learned? There is definitely purpose in our pain, in the tears we cry and every sleepless night.

So today I have been called to pray for anyone who has experienced or is experiencing or even knows someone experiencing this type of pain. My prayer will be specific to my friend but if you are believing God for a restored friendship or relationship whether it be with a spouse, significant other, family member or even business or professional – this prayer is for you too!


Dear Heavenly Father, I come to you as humbly as I know how first to say thank you. Thank you for being such a loving Father.  Thank you for being so sovereign and loving me even when I didn’t love myself.  Thank you for sending Your son to die for my sins knowing that despite this display of love, I would still at times reject You.

 

God, I want to repent for those times when I did reject Your love, Your wisdom and Your gentle calling to choose you this day who I will serve. When I chose to do it my way and reject Your loving kindness.  But God, you’re such a loving Father and grant free will and allow me to choose.  And when I have come to the end of myself and finally turn back to You, You were always there with open arms.  Thank you Father!

 

Now God, I come to you today with a very specific request for my friend “Tony”.  God, you said that the prayers of the righteous availeth much and that if I ask anything in Your name and believe in faith I shall receive it.  You also said that I should come boldly to the throne of grace that I may obtain mercy and find grace in the time of need.

 

Well God, I come boldly to Your throne, in right standing with You.  Having confessed my sins, known and unknown and believing You are a God who can move mountains. God, touch my friend “Tony”.  Touch him in places that only You can.  God restore his soul, his peace and his joy.  The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy but you’ve come that we might have life and have it more abundantly.  Restore life in him. And God, please restore his marriage.  God, give him the strength he needs to walk by faith and not by sight.

 

God, you are a redeemer of time. Redeem the time they have lost during this separation.  Touch his heart and give him direction in what he should do next.  From the outside looking in, it looks like it’s over but just when the world thinks it’s over, that’s when you show up and show yourself strong. In our weakness, you are made strong.  Show up in his marriage, show up in his weakness.  Allow him to trust you to move this seemingly unmovable mountain.

 

Just like Paul pleaded with You to remove the thorn but you didn’t, allow “Tony” to trust that there is a purpose in this pain.  If the situation doesn’t change right away, allow him to trust that Your desire is to ultimately change him in the situation. Soften his heart towards his wife and allow him to always display Christ-like love despite what is displayed towards him. Allow his love for You and desire to please You be a catalyst to his wife’s healing and turning her heart back to first You and then to him.  God heal any brokenness in her and break all generational curses and ungodly soul ties that have her bound. This is a spiritual battle and a spiritual battle cannot be fought with our logic and intellect.  This type of battle can only be fought with Your Word.

 

So I stand before you with the full armor of God on.  Standing firm with the belt of truth around my waist and breastplate of righteousness in place to let the devil know and put him on notice that he will no longer have a hold on “Tony’s” wife and marriage.  Weapons have been formed against them but they will not prosper. I cast the devil back into the fiery pits of hell from which he came. He has no authority here.

 

God, honor this prayer.  You said where two or three are gathered together, you will be in the midst.  God, I feel your presence and thank and praise You for it. God, continue to shine your blessings down on us and I will forever give Your name all the glory.

 

It is in Your Son’s name that I pray and leave it in Your hands.  Amen.

 

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

 

~Forever Trina

He Said Yes!

yes-man1He said yes….
to my no
to my maybe later
to my some day
to my doubt
to my distrust
to my wandering
to my, not right now
to my compromise
to my worrying
to my backbiting
to my stressing
to my control issues

Yet, despite all of my No’s…He still said Yes!

Now I will say…
Yes, I’m committed
Yes, today
Yes, I believe
Yes, I trust You
Yes, I will remain steadfast and unmovable
Yes, right now
Yes, I will uphold Your standard
Yes, I will accept Your peace
Yes, I will praise You
Yes, I will rest in You
Yes, I will release all control to You

Why? Because You did it for me on Calvary!

You knew me before I was formed in my mother’s womb.  You knew every success and failure I would encounter.  You knew every straight and crooked path I would take.  You knew every detour in life and shamefully, even the number of times I would deny even knowing You…in my action and inaction…and You still said Yes!

God, I will commit to continue making this the year of my Yes!

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~ForeverTrina

“Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field.”  James 4:8 MSG

 

We Can’t Be Friends…Can We?

alone-black-and-white-person-photography-Favim.com-763729

“We’re not alone – here within his love…Emmanuel – He is still with us.”

I absolutely love this worship song at my church. I break down each and every time we sing it.  Why does this song touch me so much? Because I’ve been there…all too many times.

I have recently come to terms with the calling placed on my life.  I now know and accept that I am different…God has called me to stand out…to be set apart and because of this there will inevitably be times when my friend…let’s call her “Alone” will come to visit.

Alone is one of those friends who often stops by unannounced and for an undetermined amount of time.  She dumps all her problems on you to the point that by the end of the conversation you’re drained and left to pick up the pieces of her life… that have now become your life. She’s one of those house guests that leaves a path of destruction. You know every place she’s been and everything she’s touched.  You are now having restless and sleepless nights while she’s sleeping like a baby…snoring even.

How could you have let this happen? You’ve allowed her to drop her baggage in your house and you can’t  seem to do anything about it.  She’s left isolation, self-pity, victimism, fear, doubt, and depression.  She even gossips and spreads lies about who you are.

How did it get this far? Didn’t we use to be besties? Has she always been this emotionally destructive and I’m just now opening my eyes to see her for who she really is and has been all along?

Alone, we can’t be friends anymore….can we? Maybe we just need to define some boundaries.  Yeah, yeah…that’s it…boundaries.  First of all…you can’t call all hours of the day and night…I have a job…I need my sleep! Second of all…you can no longer stop by unannounced, you need to call, text, tweet, something! And third of all…now this is key so listen up, please stop leaving your baggage behind and for goodness sake, pick up after yourself. I’m tired of picking up the pieces of what you leave behind.

Now though I’d prefer to rid myself of you from my life all together, I know that’s not possible. So I will embrace the good with the bad. Love the person, hate the sin…that’s what pastors say, right?

I will embrace Alone. Thank her for the good that she brings to this relationship. How when she’s around God is always near, waiting for me to invite Him in so He can shower me with His love and reveal secrets that only He can.

I guess Alone isn’t all bad…

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

 

“Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.  If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me.” Psalm 139:7-10 (NKJV)

Something’s Gotta Give…

Ladies, ladies, ladies…have you ever been like that after a breakup? I know God said there’s a time to mourn, a time to laugh and a time to cry….but the time to cry part of the scripture is on repeat right now. The scripture in my Bible seems to be reading more like a time to cry, and cry and cry…. surely I don’t have anymore tears left in these tear ducts of mine. I haven’t even been drinking that much water lately…so where can the water be coming from? I’m like a well that won’t run dry!

We have definitely all been there. Whether it was with a breakup or some other life altering situation.  When we’re in the middle of it there doesn’t seem to be a way out. The light that should be in the light at the end of the tunnel seems to be lost.

But I can attest to the fact that the light is eventually found. I haven’t gotten this far in life without a few heartbreaks and other disappointments under my belt. And fortunately, the tears were never cried in vain and I was always catapulted to the next level afterwards. Remember, sometimes the one thing that we  try to hold onto so tightly is possibly the one thing that God is trying to get us to release so he can move us higher. Whether it’s higher in your career, higher in your educational pursuits or maybe higher in peace or joy or simply reliance on Him.

So the next time you feel the pain will never end and you can’t seem to turn the water works off, realize its okay, there is a purpose and plan for those tears so just ensure you cry with a purpose. Don’t stay down, make sure you get back up.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

Giraffe or Turtle?


A young lady shared this video with me and a few others the other day. I had to tell her that she should have put some type of disclaimer or warning label on the video because I was listening to it while driving home from work and literally wanted to raise my hands, stomp my feet and shout out loud!  Somehow I managed to fight back the tears, maintain control of the car and even resisted the urge to pull over for a praise break! This word was definitely fiya! So on point, so on time, so needed!

I am a giraffe. Not everyone is going to understand my views, my vision and my purpose and it’s unfair for me to expect them to….especially if you’re a turtle.  Our perspectives are not the same. Our worldviews are not even on the same level.

So the next time you are conversing with a turtle and find yourself frustrated or even discouraged, ask yourself (although the answer is evident), who am I talking to? Do not allow a turtle to slow down your progress or deter you from your destiny. You are a giraffe and the very nature of who you are will continue to drive you to higher heights, a higher vision and ultimately a higher purpose which is in Christ Jesus.

Thank you for the reminder, TD! I’m gonna have to put your sermon podcasts back in rotation!

Be Brave, Be You, Be Blessed!

~ForeverTrina

Raining Checks!

checklistI love checklists. I use them at work to measure whether I had a productive day or not. It brings me great joy when I can check off all the items on my list. One day I was checking things off one after the other….check, check, check…it was raining checks that day. I had an extra pep in my step. Then it happened…I had a conference call. I walked in with no “to do’s” and walked out with a full list…enough to last a week…to only be faced with more “to do’s” the next week. When would it end? Would it ever end? The answer is…no. There is always work to be done. Same is true for the kingdom of God. Your work will never be done. I use to think there was a magic formula to Christianity. If I pray and read my bible I’m all good. 1 + 1 should equal 2, right? Uh, no, have you met God? He uses that new mathematical system that can only be learned by reading one Book and even then you may never be able to fully comprehend the mysteries of His math. So basically you will never get to the point where you have “arrived”.

Well, I still kinda struggle with this. Just like my checklists, I like to see something tangible to show my progress. I look for an endpoint. A point where I can finally rest and coast. I’ve been climbing the corporate ladder and the Christianity ladder for years and I’m tired. But just like with every project assigned at work and the endless “to do’s”, same goes for the life of a Christian. The Enemy is very real and is on top of his game 24/7…365. And this being a leap year…366. Meaning, we don’t get a break. The Enemy is waiting for you to fall off your game. Stop reading your Word, stop praying, stop fighting  in the spirit. I have fallen prey to this more often then I’d like to admit.

So now what, what’s a girl to do? One word…realization. Realize that the road to your purpose will never end and you can never stop working on it. You will  encounter obstacles along the way and although it’s easy to do “let us not grow weary in well doing, for in due time we will reap a harvest, if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

And in the words of Uncle Luke – don’t stop, get it, get it!

Be Brave, Be You, Be Blessed!

~ForeverTrina

 

“I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:14 (NIV)

God of My Struggles

My Pastor released this audio sometime last year.  I listened to it then…in fact, there was a whole sermon series on it, but while watching the Elevation Network last night I came across it again.

It’s funny how something can hit you differently in different seasons in your life.  Kinda like prayers that I heard as a child.  One of the infamous ones was, “God, thank you for activity of my limbs and being clothed in my right mind”.  Of course I knew what it meant but you can’t truly comprehend the fullness of that prayer until you’ve been threatened with no longer having activity of your limbs or you almost lost your mind or encountered someone who had.  It is in those times that these prayers resonate high in your spirit and you can speak them with the utmost confidence because it was nothing but God.  My God!

Well, as I listened to my Pastor speak on the God of Jacob…the God of my Struggles…there was something about hearing, God is the God of my struggles.  Not just my successes, but my struggles, not just my victories but my defeats.  God is concerned about all of me…the whole me…even the unflattering parts of me.  Wow!

I guess that shouldn’t come as a surprise, huh? Certainly if God can be the God of Jacob…heel grabber…birthright stealer…prideful…issue having Jacob, surely he could be the God of you and me!

Allow that to sit with you.  And then speak these words out loud….”God is the God of [insert name here]”.

Be Brave, Be you, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

“Then he said, “I am the God of your fathers,  the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob.”…”