Controlling Comfort

Jul6

So I was talking to a friend and the word “control” came up. She was walking me through an interaction she had with another friend and ended with, “that’s not controlling…is it”?

I’m typically of the adage, if I have to ask myself the question, the answer or response is likely the very thing I’m asking.

But this is my girl so of course my first thought is, “nah girl, that’s not controlling”. Eventually we moved on from this topic but for some reason the thought seemed to linger. So since I couldn’t shake it, I decided to explore it a little further. This was actually not the first time a friend had asked me, “am I controlling?”.

My response to the question the previous time was, “you’re helpful…you simply like to help people”.

Now some would probably say, that was a very “PC” response but I felt it was very honest. But despite my honesty, it still led to yet another question…

When does a feeling of being helpful move to a feeling of being controlling?

Good question…so here’s what I found to be true…

If the recipient of this unsolicited “help” becomes rebellious, bitter or resentful, you’ve probably crossed that line. This can be seen more often than not with kids. You know, those kids that went off to college and went “buck wild”? Yes, that is still a word…but I digress. These kids despised the way in which they were brought up. With the rules and controls and pressure inflicted on them, it was only a matter of time…they were a ticking timebomb…a soda that you shake and as soon as you open it, the contents come spewing out…they couldn’t wait to be released. This is human nature. But not God’s nature.

We’ll come back to that thought. But before we do, let’s talk about another possible result of control.

Becoming someone’s crutch. Yes, the distant cousin of rebellion. In this case, the child never leaves home and can never keep a job for that matter. But why should they have to? You’ve made it very easy and comfortable for them. Their actions or lack thereof have no consequences…in their eyes. You are their fallback plan. They never fall or never fail because you’re right there to catch them, save them. But they also never learn, grow or mature. You stunted it.

So, I’m sure you would agree that these are both equally undesirable results of something that started off so innocent. I mean, our motives were pure and so was our heart. So how could something so pure end with something so not?

God.

Now I’m not suggesting that God was the result of it but perhaps the absence of God was.

This can be a very touchy subject simply because we all like to think we consult God and include God in everything. But do we really? I’ll let you sit with that thought for a minute…

In the meantime, let’s talk about how the previous scenarios play out in our everyday adult lives…

The same exact way.

The above scenarios aren’t too far fetched from what we may experience as young professionals, devoted husbands or wives, loving friends, and family.

But God. He can make the difference.

But if we know that, why is it still so hard to relinquish control?

Our sinful nature…the natural propensity of our flesh to go left versus right.

“For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it” Romans 7:19-20 NIV

So definitely nothing to beat yourself up about but definitely something to be aware of.

This was classic Trina. I lived a very unaware dating life. I often felt I needed to help God out. Yes, the man that made the moon and the stars needed my help with finding me a suitable mate. So what happened with that? A lot of falls, a lot of bruises, a lot of scars.

Now some things just come with life.

“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 NIV

But others were self-inflicted.

My fear of being alone led me to some pretty isolated places. My fear of failure resulted in me failing, my fear of letting go resulted in me falling. Where God intended me to soar, I was barely even walking.

But like a parent, God was always right there to pick me up, dust me off and comfort me so I could try again. But this time, not so much in my own strength but in His.

Instead of finding comfort in controlling my plan I began finding comfort in God’s uncontrollable, unpredictable and sometimes uncomfortable plan.

Open your hand…open that tightly clenched fist and allow God to deposit the strength needed to find comfort in being uncomfortable. This and this alone allows you to live a truly free and unrestricted life. This allows God’s power to operate in it’s fullnesss in your life and finally relinquishing your control for His.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

Gut Check

Jun14

Have you ever been gut checked by God?

Gut checked??? What, pray tell, does that mean, Trina?

Glad you asked…

According to the Oxford dictionary, a gut check is “An evaluation or test of a person’s resolve, commitment, or priorities, typically with respect to a particular course of action”.

Put in simpler terms and for the purposes of this blog post, it’s when God “calls you out” or He “reads” you as the women on The Real Housewives of Atlanta would say.

And it’s not an obvious on a bullhorn type of call out. It’s an undercover, sneaky type of read. It’s one where God asks a rhetorical question. You know, like the one he asked Adam and Eve when they were in the garden. Really God? You know them two fools were naked. So why ask a question you clearly already know the answer to? Very good question. Now we’re getting somewhere, now we’re on the right path. Exactly where God intended us to be.

God is trying to get us to the point where our question lines up with his question and our response lines up with His response.

God created the heavens and the earth, He knows your rising and falling….He’s with you in the valley and on the mountaintop. Do you really think He would ask a question that He already knows the answer to without a purpose? He’s trying to open your eyes to the possible error in your ways or misguided preconceptions or thoughts about whatever the situation to bring about correction, redemption and ultimately relationship.

He is a gentleman and seeks to have a relationship with us and is not afraid to ask the obvious question to get the not so obvious answer.

He did it with the woman at the well and with Cleopas on the road to Emmaus.

And He does it with us today. He asks simple questions that lead back to Him.

So in what ways is God leading you back to Him? What situations, good or bad have you saying, “hmmm…”?

For me, it’s been in several areas.

One was something as simple as a thirty-minute weekly prayer call. Can you believe I was thinking this frequency was too much and that it should be dropped down to every other week?

Really? You can’t take thirty minutes out of your week to join a call that is uplifting to you and to others? This is likely the only time you’ve set aside for Me all week…ouch! God’s truth can pack a punch.

“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” Hebrew 4:12

God’s word can comfort you but also bring about correction. He’s been as equally forthcoming in the areas of my finances and relationships too.

He spares no expense when it comes to growing and maturing His children. It’s like My way or….My way when it comes to God. Yeah, He doesn’t give you too many options when it comes to that. I mean, you can do it your way but you’ll find that’s a road better left untraveled.

So check your commitment….check your priorities.

Do you have a heart for God? Prove it…stop talking about it and just be about it. It’s time out for all the lip service. Doing what’s “right” in the eyes of others. Saying all the right things…posting all the right things but in the eyes of the One who truly matters and makes the difference, failing miserably.

Let’s make it a point to make God a priority this week, this month and the rest of this year. And then sit back and watch how things begin to shift. You know, things like…attitudes…emotions…relationships. Yours and those of others.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

Did You Ever Love Me?

Jun3

Did you ever love me?

The words that somberly came out of his mouth during one of our last conversations. The words I was shocked to hear and honestly didn’t know how to answer. He hurt me and although the remorse of what he had done could somewhat be heard in the tone of his voice, it was way too much for me to process in that moment.

Two months?!?!…Two months?!?! Where were you? Who were you with? What happened? A whirlwind of thoughts and emotions running through my mind. So much so that I couldn’t begin to answer his question, I had too many of my own. Questions I don’t think will ever get answered. Not at the level in which I need. His answers, at best, would be vague and at a level that would allow him to save face.

Which still leaves me with, how do I begin to formulate a proper response to this seemingly simple question? Wouldn’t you agree this requires some deeper thought? At least, more than one might initially assume anyway.

So several days go by allowing me to get over the initial shock of the phone call, the question and also allowing me to vent to my girlfriends. After this, I was finally able to articulate what was in my heart.

My response…I loved the person I thought you to be. I loved the representative. The idea…the potential…but at this point in my life, that’s not enough.

Truth be told, it should have never been enough, because what that would mean is, I didn’t love me enough.

These are some tough, hard truths that we as women have to face sometimes. Truths that can often shatter OUR hopes and OUR dreams that we had for OUR lives. Notice I said OUR.

This can leave open questions that begin with when, what, and how? When is he coming? What do I do now? How are you going to work this out?

Only to hear silence…nothing…my hurt, my pain, my cries are so loud and You…where are You?

I’m here…

Where?

In the silence…in the seemingly nothingness…I’m here…Be still…Do you love me? Did you ever love me?

Of course…

Show me…with your life…with your trust and faith in the plan I have for you. It won’t look like others, it won’t feel like others but I am with you guiding you every step of the way. Will you trust me? Will you love me? With the same measure of trust and love you put in men? I am doing a new thing…trust and lean on me and me alone. Can you do that?

Yes…

Your willingness and obedience have freed you from the bondage of The What, The How and The When because you now know The Who.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19

Dear Nobody

Feb22

Dear nobody, it’s been fun.

Dear nobody, it’s been real.

Dear nobody, it’s been exciting and exhilarating but I think it’s time to bid you adieu.

All rides aren’t meant for you…in this case for me.

We had lots of ups, but sadly, more downs.

I forgot to read the sign that says you must be this amount of crazy to ride this ride. Possess this amount of brokenness and this low level of self-esteem and self-worth to match and be able to tolerate the twists and turns that come with this ride. Why oh why did I not read the sign? Every ride comes with one.

In fact, life comes with signs. Stop. Yield. One Way. Dead End. Do Not Enter. Detour. They’re for our own good. To protect us. Some signs even come with pretty little pictures and colors for those of us who don’t really like to read. Yes, these signs can be annoying. They slow you down, make you turn around or change direction. But ultimately caution you to what’s coming. They bring about order. Imagine life without them. It would be pure chaos and confusion.

“Let all things be done decently and in order.” 1 Corinthians 14:40 KJV

So if the DMV deems it important enough to test you on these beloved signs before you’re given a license to drive, how much more important should it be to ensure your “ride or die” is truly your “ride or die”? After all, it’s holding precious cargo.

And although you don’t need a license to ride a ride…you do need one for other things like entering into a lifelong committed relationship…otherwise known as marriage. Isn’t that what this is all about?

Which should further impress upon you the importance of paying attention to the signs.

Let’s take a pop quiz. Does your ride lie, is it manipulative, deceptive, display signs of untrustworthiness or character issues?

Think before you answer. Loneliness and delayed promises from God can often blur your vision. You may be taking this quiz with rose colored glasses or even worse, someone else’s.

Take this quiz with a clear more precise lens. A lens that provides focus and perspective..a lens found and hidden in the Word of God.

Are you ready to take the quiz…the not so pop quiz…this seemingly recurring test in your life?

Answer carefully, this could be the difference between life and death. Not literally or physically but then again…

“…I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” John 10:10 NKJV

Did you pass? Don’t worry if you didn’t. God is a redeemer of time and freely gives His grace and mercy.

So study up, take notes because no ride is worth ignoring the signs.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

New Hope

Feb16

Hope has been a recurring theme in my life since the end of last year. The Christmas, Christmas Eve, New Years Eve and the first sermon of the year all had themes of hope. I should know by now that this was no coincidence. God was preparing me. It’s almost like when you pray for patience and then God places you in situations that require patience. I honestly stopped praying certain prayers…I know how God operates and I’m not ready for some things like patience…yuck!

I digress..

Thankfully God knows me and knows that I don’t openly volunteer for certain opportunities so He often takes it upon himself to prepare me despite my apparent unwillingness and sometimes resistance. Which brings me to hope. I had been hoping for something specific for years and have yet to receive this one thing. The times in which I thought I was finally being blessed with this “one thing” it turned out to be a cruel April Fools joke. After years of disappointment in this one area I decided why hope. It’s not worth it. God’s gonna do what he wants to with or without my hope….my prayers. So I was ready to throw away all hope in this one area. I had hoped for years to no avail…or had I?

My friend shared the following scriptures with me…

“But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently” Romans 8:25

“Who hopes for what he already has?” Romans 8:24

I struggled with that first scripture. If I hope for what I do not have I’ll wait patiently??? What kinda sense does that make? I just mentioned I’ve been hoping for years. So I’m sure you can imagine my patience level at this point. And here we go with that patience word again…yuck!

Then my Pastor shared yet another perspective on hope. The following hymnal lyrics pretty much sum it up…

“My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.”

My hope was in that “one thing” and when that “one thing” didn’t occur or work out my hope went with it. I had floating hope versus hope that is anchored in His promises. God is much more concerned with my heart, my growth, my character and wisdom gained thru what I place my hope in.

I say all that to say, this year I vow to place my hope in that one thing that is not shaken by the twist and turns of life…The Word. This and this alone brings about life and a New Hope…and dare I say…Patience.

Forever Learning, Forever Growing, Forever Maturing…Forever Trina.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

Build-A-Man Workshop

Dec20

Don’t you sometimes wish you could build a man? I know I do. He’d be the best man ever. I would take the best qualities from all the men I’ve ever dated to make a super man. It would be great…right?!?!?

He would be tall, dark and handsome….

In perfect shape, meaning 6 or 8 pack
Health conscious
Loves to workout
Nice dresser
Easy on the eyes
Nice hairline
Perfect teeth
Great smile
Great personality
Outgoing
Sense of humor
Good character
Not easily angered
Open-minded
Patient
Kind
Affectionate
Attentive
Romantic
Man of God…of course

Done….I think….at least for now.

My next step would be to take this list and submit it to God. I have to include God in this. I need His blessing. Only he could fulfill this very specific request.

God’s response…

My desire is to build a woman. A woman after My heart. A woman’s heart that is so hidden in Me that a man would need to seek Me first to find you.

Simply put, God said, “I got you…leave this to Me.” He knows that when I put my hands in the mix I’d likely make a mess of things. Possibly put together a patchwork doll.

God not only knows what we need but what we desire. When we try to put the puzzle pieces together ourselves we end up with a complete mess. God can fit pieces together far greater than we can. In unexpected, amazing ways.

“…my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9 NLT

Another way to put it, trust God and quit trying to be God.

If only we stay in our lane we would find things working out as they should. Sometimes it seems counter-intuitive but then again…when I open my hand to release MY desires to God, God in turn is able to deposit HIS desires in what is now an open hand…and heart.

Doesn’t God have a way of making some really good points? If I can be totally honest with you, I’ve gotten everything on MY list before and it still turned out to be a hot mess. Somehow I managed to leave some things off my list…go figure. I think I’ll leave the building of a man to Him. And in the meantime, I’ll continue to allow God to build me into the woman He created me to be.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

Do You Understand the Words That are Coming Out of My Mouth?

Nov2

Ladies, listen to what a man says. Specifically regarding when he says he’s not looking for a relationship or he’s not ready. Even if he’s displaying “relationship type” actions such as texting you “Good Morning” everyday (which is lame by the way…let’s not be so common men…and let’s not be so easily moved ladies), saying “I miss you”, “I think about you all the time even when I don’t call or text” (dude, how about you call or text), “I wanna hold you”, “we connect”, “God sent you to me”, “you’re wifey”…and the list goes on and on. I’m sure I can write a complete blog about the words that come out of a man’s mouth that will have you saying, “do ya’ll all read from the same book?”. Some of you need an updated copy and not the signed collectors edition.

Ladies, didn’t God say there’s nothing new under the sun? Please apply this to your dating life and stop being so gullible. Even the enemy knows to revamp his tricks against you. That’s why we often get tripped up. The enemy doesn’t hide in plain sight. He knows we’re smarter than that. What we use to struggle with 5, 10, 15 years ago is no longer an issue. You may be experiencing a derivative of that struggle but not the same. So the enemy is forced to up his game. Fortunately, most men aren’t that smart but there are a few out there who are so its important for you to stay on top of your game.

“Above everything else, guard your heart; for it is the source of life’s consequences” Proverbs 4:23 CJB

Ladies, we are very emotional beings and this doesn’t always work in our favor. So the sweet nothings a man whispers in your ear, the kind words, the gentle touch can often translate into wedding bells. We really gotta work on that. I’m becoming a huge believer in self talk. Yes, I talk to myself and sometimes answer. I was telling a friend just the other day that I feel like I talk to myself more than I talk to other people. But why not? The world is so loud. Telling you how you should look, how you should think and that can sometimes drown out what God says about you. So yes, I am sometimes on a bullhorn telling Trina…you are fearfully and wonderfully made, you were made in His image, you are the apple of His eye, etc, etc. And if the batteries die in my bullhorn I have friends blaring in my ear those same things.

You gotta have a squad. I thank God for mine…a very diverse group of ladies…and a few gents but they are able to talk me off a ledge.

I have one friend, let’s call her “Stone Cold Steve Austin”, home girl don’t play. If a man says, those three words…”I’m Not Ready”, she doesn’t care what you say or do after that, she will not think otherwise. A man wou stone-cold-steve-austin-3-16-texas-rattle-snake-wwe-hd

stone-cold-steve-austin-3-16-texas-rattle-snake-wwe-hd

ld have to explicitly say another three words…”I Am Ready” before she moves forward.

I definitely have to move more toward that mindset.

I digress…

As much as we’d like men to say what they mean and mean what they say, that may not always happen. So it’s even more important for you as a woman to know what you want and hold true to that. I’ve had several friends say, “why are you so concerned about what he wants, what do you want?”. A lot of times knowing what you want will cancel out any confusion you may have about whether a man wants to commit to you or not. Because let me tell you, a man with a plan is not thinking about you. He cannot be moved. If he says I’m focused on work, school, whatever. Trust him, he is and his focus will not be deterred. We as women will change our focus plan into a flexible plan for a man.

All I’m saying ladies is listen to the words that are coming out of his mouth. Those initial words…that will determine the fate and direction of that relationship. Words and actions need to align.

Hopefully it didn’t sound like I was going on a tangent, ranting and raving or man bashing. Far from it. Nor am I lecturing. What I write is from my experience and my perspective. I’m talking to little Trina as well as the grown up Trina who has it all together…haha, I wish!

My goal is to empower women. We can be so strong and so smart in so many different areas but that three letter word…MEN, can turn a PhD into a pre-school diploma. So if my pitfalls can help you overcome yours or better yet, never experience them at all then I’ve accomplished what I set out to do.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

Conflict Management

May24

Me and conflict are enemies. I will avoid it with a 10-foot pole. I often shy away from it, run from it, duck and dive, bob and weave, exit stage left and will even roger rabbit my way out of a room if challenged with confronting it. Just not my thing…I literally suck at it. My heart races, voice starts to shake, pretty much any outward expression one would experience when faced with fear is pretty much what happens to me when faced with conflict.

I’m not as quick on my feet as I would like to be. And as luck would have it, the people that I’ve had confrontational situations with always seem to have the knack for it. It’s like they’ve earned an advanced degree in thwarting any type of ownership, disqualifying any feeling, emotion or opinion you have about a topic and doing it all in one breath. Now, when I say I’m not quick on my feet, it’s regarding a tactful, polite response befitting of a Christian young lady. If I didn’t have to be loving and caring and think twice about the consequences of my words before they came spewing out my mouth and instead could just shoot straight from the hip, I could go round-for-round. Funny how those nice, colorful, non-edifying words have a way of rolling off your tongue like butter.

At any rate, here’s how my most recent bout with conflict transpired. I was in a leadership class and the topic was ‘The Cause of Confrontation”. Several great points were made that provided a new perspective on the topic. One being how conflict has held onto the number one spot for being the baddest of the bad boys for sometime now. But is conflict really all that bad? Or does bad really mean good? Could it be that conflict can bring about growth and development opportunities? Could it be that it’s not about two opposing forces squaring off, or about a winner or a loser but more about active listening? Hmmm…could it be that I’ve been wrong about conflict all this time? Instead of embracing it I’ve been running from something that could help me reach my fullest potential?

So of course I’m feverishly taking notes, this is some good stuff…some good teaching. I proceed with…”yeah…that’s good Pastor…you better say that, I’m fist bumping, chest bumping, and ready to rule the world. Well, how about the very next day I was tested with what I learned and I failed with flying colors. If there was ever a complete and utter fail that could go down in history, this would be it. If you Google’d fail, the Wikipedia article that would come up would have my picture beside it. Even the memory verse for the week about the seed falling on good soil was lost on me. I literally went into commando, rogue mode and failed to apply everything I just learned.

Well…the story didn’t end well, actually it’s still being written.

But one thing is certain, when I woke up the next morning I was desperately needing for God to redeem me, to hold me, to comfort me, to give me peace and direction. Prayerfully, He led me to several scriptures in Proverbs…the book of wisdom.

The one that specifically stood out to me and could be directly applied to this situation was Proverbs 14:17…”A quick-tempered man does foolish things…”

Ouch! God’s word…sharper than any double-edge sword.

So after reading that I’m like, really God…Et tu, Brute (Shakespeare reference…look it up)? I’m being persecuted, forsaken, cast down and destroyed by You too. Yes, quite the drama queen. Of course He calmed that down pretty quickly. And the words I wish would have come back to me in the moment of confrontation, came back to me in my quiet time.

Don’t be easily offended
Conversations that are bringing about correction can sting
Conflict can create growth opportunities

Whew! Powerful stuff!

I am learning how important it is to stay close to God. He brings correction, it may sting but it’s always followed up with wisdom, love, comfort and peace. But I will say, God is the best public relations and damage control rep I know. The aftermath of this epic fail could have been a lot worse but the grace of God….it is definitely to be reverenced. I am being blessed in the midst of it all and prayerfully when confronted with conflict in the future I am able to draw upon what I learned from this situation. I honestly didn’t think I would be tested so quickly this time around but then again, why am I surprised?

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

The “V” Word!

May17

“… vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it’s also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.” Brenee Brown

I was introduced to Brenee Brown and her TEDtalk on vulnerability a few years back….from a counselor actually. And to my surprise, her name came up again in a sermon my Pastor was preaching and he too was introduced to her by a counselor. Kindred spirits maybe? Either that or a prerequisite to being a counselor is to listen or read her material.

I digress…

How many of us would benefit from being more vulnerable in our relationships…both personal and professional?

When I think of vulnerability, I also think of her friends, secret and shame and even her friend of a friend, fear. The inability to be vulnerable typical stems from information you may be withholding…a secret that you don’t want exposed, something that may bring you, your family or other innocent bystanders’ shame. You hold on to whatever it is so tightly that it actually produces the opposite effect of what one would expect.

Fear is usually lurking somewhere in the background of all of this. A fear of being found out or maybe a fear of being rejected by others. So in our angst to avoid the exposure or the uncomfortable feeling that comes along with being vulnerable we instead create disconnection rather than closer, healthier relationships.

“Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5

These uncomfortable feelings have an end date. We are so busy ducking and diving and hiding but not seeking that we end up missing out on some great opportunities to grow, relate, understand and simply be human.

We subconsciously jump from the frying pan into the fire. We move further from our intended end goal of closer connections and relationships and never stop to figure out why.

We endure self-inflicted pain and bondage versus the freedom God desires for us.

Secrets can ruin relationships. And the enemy knows that. He would like nothing more than to divide a marriage, a friendship and a family. We’re stronger together and more susceptible to his tricks when we’re apart. So he will use that one thing to bring about separation and use it as a curse when it was designed to be a blessing.

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” John 10:10

So, I love the movie “Peeples”. It is absolutely hilarious. Kerry Washington, David Alan Grier and Craig Robinson are a few of the stars in this movie.

Spoiler alert…

The family in this movie has its fair share of secrets. It didn’t destroy the family but it could have. The family was pretty much held hostage by the pride of the father.

Pride…another friend of vulnerability…this chick is popular! But definitely not the friend you want…it can lead the further disconnection in relationships.

And had the father not decided to “unfriend” his pride the story could have ended differently. Something to think of in our own lives. How many times have we allowed pride to further bury a secret and once it was finally revealed or dug up it blew up in our face? To leave everyone exposed, hurt and possibly even betrayed.

So the major theme of the movie was surrounding secrets. There was actually a cute little song that went along with this theme…”Speak it, don’t leak it”. You wanna hear it? Here it go!

Speak it, don’t leak it
Don’t keep your feelings secret
Say it, don’t spray it
That’s how the big kids play it
Don’t repress it, express it
They ain’t no crime in confessing
When you’re dealing with your feelings, you would rather be concealing…
So if you thinking about that #1
There ain’t no curing in that urine
Speak it, don’t leak it!

Cute, huh? Aside from the “explicit lyric”. Haha…

But I say all that to say, true freedom is found in vulnerability. Nothing good can come from the inability to be vulnerable due to secrets, shame, fear or pride. I’ve seen this play out in my life, relationships and even career. My own insecurities set me back and I am now trying to make up for lost time. But thankfully, God is a redeemer of time. God can do in seconds what would typically take years. Let Him!

Lay it at His feet today and watch Him allow you to prosper just as your soul prospers.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

Confession

Apr8

111412_1129_attackingth12 I have a confession….

I am human…I have emotions…and I sometimes get frustrated…angry even.

Surprised? Don’t be…David exhibits these same human emotions all throughout Psalms.

And despite his propensity to experience emotional ups and downs – the calling placed on his life was clear. God chose to use David in spite of David. Sound familiar?

I am so thankful for a faithful and gracious God. A God who sees beyond my faults and still chooses to use me. A God who despite my personal struggles and some even justly deserved, still calls me.

Y’all, I can be a big ball of emotions sometimes…and this ball can sometimes roll me over and knock me down…and anyone in its path for that matter. Just the other day I was frustrated about a particular situation and could not clearly articulate how I was feeling or find a tactful way to say what was on my mind so I went back to the familiar and displayed a less than pleasant attitude. Almost immediately, I was very disappointed in myself and in the way I handled the situation. I’m a lady after all, a professional and classy lady…a professional, classy, Christian lady and there are just some things you don’t do when you carry all those titles. I’m like royalty…Mrs. Obama status. Okay…maybe I’m going a bit too far but you know what I mean. I felt things could have been done differently but hindsight is always 20/20.

So how I can move forward from this? What can I take away from the situation and use as a lesson learned and do better in the future? Because promise me, there will be a future opportunity for me to take this fun little exam again.

Well, first things first, I gotta find a way to bottle up that ball of emotion and use it for good and not evil. The emotions in and of themselves are not bad…that means I actually care, but still, the way in which they are displayed can use some fine tuning…some refocus…and some redirection. Secondly, I must trust that the grace of God will cover me in those situations when my mouth out runs my brain. Yes, this can happen.

So in a nutshell, we can either choose to be overcome by our emotions and ultimately defeated or choose to use them as the fuel to push us forward and become victorious.

You decide…

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~ForeverTrina

“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” James 5:16(NIV)