50 Self Care Ideas – Subscribe to View List!

Jan12

I have a friend who harps on self-care. I honestly don’t think we ever get through an entire conversation without those two words being mentioned at least once. So what is self-care?

Self-care can be defined as….

“…any necessary human regulatory function which is under individual control, deliberate and self-initiated.” wikipedia.com

“care of the self without medical or other professional consultation.” dictionary.com

“care for oneself” merriam-webster.com

But if you ask me, self-care is some good old-fashioned and much needed “me” time.

Define it as you will, it should include some type of mental, physical or spiritual rejuvenation.

Why is it important?

There is a Bible scripture that says, “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.” Matthew 5:13 NIV

Well, the same goes for us as women. If we lose our savor, lose our shine or our glow due to the hustle and bustle and the daily demands of life, what good are we to anyone? We become more susceptible to the tricks of the enemy and can even become more emotional which could cause us to lose direction, focus and purpose. Gary Chapman (author of The Five Love Languages) mentions a love tank; well let’s talk about our self-love tank. Just like a car needs fuel to drive we need fuel to live….effectively, that is. It’s time we stop driving on fumes and take the time to fill up.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

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Brought to You by the Letter E

Oct30

Today I woke up like…it’s Monday…again. Now there are two ways you can look at that. You can say, hey, I’m alive to see another Monday so no matter what challenge may have come my way between this Monday and last Monday, it obviously didn’t kill me. I’m still breathing, and as a girlfriend of mine would say, I’m still kicking. Or you can say, it’s Monday and I got 5 long days to go. You choose. Sadly, most of us probably choose the latter. At least I did. But as I lay in bed trying hard not to open both my eyes because once I do, it’s a wrap and any sleep left in me is officially ruined, I heard the word “evidence”. My first thought was, what? evidence? I really need to stop watching Law & Order: SVU marathons before I go to sleep. But shortly after, “Remember to Rejoice” popped in my head from Sunday’s sermon and then “evidence” again. I’m like, what? Now mind you, I still have one eye open and one eye closed. I am determined to hold on to the last little bit of sleep in me. But of course, I lose that battle. I pretty much always do when my opponent is the Lord. He was trying to speak and I was trying to sleep. So the next thing I hear are the lyrics “The evidence is all around, that the spirit of the Lord is here” (Elevation Worship, Here as in Heaven). Then the scripture, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1). God was trying to 1) get me out of bed and 2) get me to look around at the evidence of His faithfulness. Not necessarily physical evidence but His presence in my life. Him leading and guiding me, opening and even closing some doors. Although things may not be perfect in my life and there are things I still desire and so many unknowns, I can’t deny His presence and Him continually calling me to go higher and deeper in Him. All the unexpected turns in my life were for his glory and my good. I see that now.

So what did I do next? I remembered and then rejoiced for seeing another Monday by getting up with a renewed perspective.

This was the longest wake-up call ever but it also led to a very productive workday.

What evidence of His faithfulness has He placed right in front of you? Open your eyes, look and remember to rejoice.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

The Answer

Oct25

Not too long ago I had this unsettling feeling that lasted about a week. I couldn’t seem to find my groove, my fire, my “umpth”. Now some of that could’ve been attributed to me just getting back from vacation. I was out of town for a week and had an awesome time but how many of you know, sometimes you need a vacation from vacation. That’s exactly where I was…trying to transition back to reality. If only I had a few more days before I had to “adult” again. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work like that. Your bills, rent mortgage, utilities…they don’t take an “adult” break. They’re coming no matter what you decide to do or don’t do.

So I kept it moving, but I was literally just going through the motions. Not engaged at work…or life really. I had a few emotional breakdowns which were not uncommon but this week was different. There was a deep emotional desire or thirst that I couldn’t seem to quench. So by Thursday, I was like enough is enough. You need to get it together, you can’t continue like this. It’s not normal, it’s not healthy…boss up, put your big girl panties on, do whatever you need to do to reconnect to yourself, to life, to God.

God? Maybe that was it. When was the last time you spoke to God? And not just spoke to Him but spent time with Him? Where you were talking to Him and listening to Him.

That’s the missing puzzle piece, the bridge…the path to a calming in my spirit.

So at lunch, I went to my car and went into thanksgiving mode. Just started thanking God for life, health, strength, my job, friends, family, awesome relationships. Everything! I ended with a bold declaration that I was going back into the office focused and re-engaged. Yeah…that didn’t happen. I told my friend later that day about this. I said God didn’t come through for me…in a joking way of course. I gotta say that because some of you might think I lost my faith or hope or something. No, it was still very much there. I wouldn’t have been in the car making those declarations if it wasn’t. But I digress.

My girlfriend was like, nah, He was there, He came through, you didn’t. Or at least that’s what I think I heard her say. Funny thing is, I was reading an article earlier that day about doing your part. The promise was already made and declared but we need to activate it. But how do you do that?

So fast forward to the next morning. I spoke to my friend briefly, texted another and then began my day. But this time, with a praise in my heart. “Praise Jehovah” was the song of choice that morning. I just started praising, releasing and ultimately reconnected to myself, to my life, to my God.

I activated His power by simply praising Him. For who He is, what He’s done, what He’s doing and what He will do. For His continual presence in my life, in the good and the bad, when I understood and even when I didn’t.

I was home…I was back!

Back to life…back to reality…that’s for my 80’s babies!

But seriously, join me in activating His power in your life. There’s nothing like it. Don’t think about “that thing”. Don’t list your needs. List all that He is. Your provider, your healer, your joy, your strength, your peace…the great I AM. Whatever you’ve needed, He was that. And watch the atmosphere change, your posture change and His presence consume and take over you. Don’t ever forsake thanksgiving and praise. It’s the answer you need and have been looking for.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

“Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name” Psalm 100:4

Controlling Comfort

Jul6

So I was talking to a friend and the word “control” came up. She was walking me through an interaction she had with another friend and ended with, “that’s not controlling…is it”?

I’m typically of the adage, if I have to ask myself the question, the answer or response is likely the very thing I’m asking.

But this is my girl so of course my first thought is, “nah girl, that’s not controlling”. Eventually we moved on from this topic but for some reason the thought seemed to linger. So since I couldn’t shake it, I decided to explore it a little further. This was actually not the first time a friend had asked me, “am I controlling?”.

My response to the question the previous time was, “you’re helpful…you simply like to help people”.

Now some would probably say, that was a very “PC” response but I felt it was very honest. But despite my honesty, it still led to yet another question…

When does a feeling of being helpful move to a feeling of being controlling?

Good question…so here’s what I found to be true…

If the recipient of this unsolicited “help” becomes rebellious, bitter or resentful, you’ve probably crossed that line. This can be seen more often than not with kids. You know, those kids that went off to college and went “buck wild”? Yes, that is still a word…but I digress. These kids despised the way in which they were brought up. With the rules and controls and pressure inflicted on them, it was only a matter of time…they were a ticking timebomb…a soda that you shake and as soon as you open it, the contents come spewing out…they couldn’t wait to be released. This is human nature. But not God’s nature.

We’ll come back to that thought. But before we do, let’s talk about another possible result of control.

Becoming someone’s crutch. Yes, the distant cousin of rebellion. In this case, the child never leaves home and can never keep a job for that matter. But why should they have to? You’ve made it very easy and comfortable for them. Their actions or lack thereof have no consequences…in their eyes. You are their fallback plan. They never fall or never fail because you’re right there to catch them, save them. But they also never learn, grow or mature. You stunted it.

So, I’m sure you would agree that these are both equally undesirable results of something that started off so innocent. I mean, our motives were pure and so was our heart. So how could something so pure end with something so not?

God.

Now I’m not suggesting that God was the result of it but perhaps the absence of God was.

This can be a very touchy subject simply because we all like to think we consult God and include God in everything. But do we really? I’ll let you sit with that thought for a minute…

In the meantime, let’s talk about how the previous scenarios play out in our everyday adult lives…

The same exact way.

The above scenarios aren’t too far fetched from what we may experience as young professionals, devoted husbands or wives, loving friends, and family.

But God. He can make the difference.

But if we know that, why is it still so hard to relinquish control?

Our sinful nature…the natural propensity of our flesh to go left versus right.

“For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it” Romans 7:19-20 NIV

So definitely nothing to beat yourself up about but definitely something to be aware of.

This was classic Trina. I lived a very unaware dating life. I often felt I needed to help God out. Yes, the man that made the moon and the stars needed my help with finding me a suitable mate. So what happened with that? A lot of falls, a lot of bruises, a lot of scars.

Now some things just come with life.

“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 NIV

But others were self-inflicted.

My fear of being alone led me to some pretty isolated places. My fear of failure resulted in me failing, my fear of letting go resulted in me falling. Where God intended me to soar, I was barely even walking.

But like a parent, God was always right there to pick me up, dust me off and comfort me so I could try again. But this time, not so much in my own strength but in His.

Instead of finding comfort in controlling my plan I began finding comfort in God’s uncontrollable, unpredictable and sometimes uncomfortable plan.

Open your hand…open that tightly clenched fist and allow God to deposit the strength needed to find comfort in being uncomfortable. This and this alone allows you to live a truly free and unrestricted life. This allows God’s power to operate in it’s fullnesss in your life and finally relinquishing your control for His.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

Unlikely Candidate

Jun6

I am me…you are you…what are the odds?

How could this be? Can this be?

I’m black, you’re white
I’m ebony, you’re ivory
I’m tall, you’re short
I’m an introvert, you’re an extrovert
I’m a good girl, you’re a bad boy
I’m white collar, you’re blue collar
I’m the nerd, you’re the kool kid
I’m guarded, You throw caution to the wind

Like Trump, another unlikely candidate, you speak your mind. Somewhat crass, somewhat crude but always honest. Others think it, you say it.

Maybe that’s the draw…the pull…

It’s refreshing.

I never have to wonder.

We’re so different.

They say opposites attract but let’s be real, how true can that be? We’re like oil and water, right?

So what about my list? You know what list I’m talking about. Mine started off with over twenty items. I was told that was a bit much so I cut it down to ten. But even that’s a lot so a list of three to four became the new ten to twenty. That’s good, right? I think so anyway. Well, why am I re-evaluating “the list”?

Are maturity, experience, and wisdom causing me to re-evaluate? Or something else? I’m at a crossroads here. A mental and emotional crossroads.

God, help!

My dream of high school, college, career, marriage, and kids didn’t quite work out as planned. The latter two keep eluding me. But in this, I’ve come to learn more about me and my purpose. So if my life can take a different and unexpected path, I’m guessing my list can too. But how do I hold true to my deepest desires while still being open to Gods? After all, didn’t God place these in me? Or was it society? Church? Religion? If we can be honest, most of us do or don’t do things based on what others will think. No one wants to be the odd man or woman out. We all want to fit in, be normal and not stand out too much. We never take the time to find out what is it that we really want…what God wants for us. It’s a scary journey, can put you in a lonely, isolated place. Have you saying “No” more than you say “Yes”.

But this will prove to be worth it.

“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling” Philippians 2:12 NIV

Now back to my list. Well, it’s still a work in progress as am I, and my journey.

I ultimately want what God wants. No matter what that looks like. No matter what others may think, feel or understand. No matter how unlikely the candidate.

Be Bold, Be you, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

Did You Ever Love Me?

Jun3

Did you ever love me?

The words that somberly came out of his mouth during one of our last conversations. The words I was shocked to hear and honestly didn’t know how to answer. He hurt me and although the remorse of what he had done could somewhat be heard in the tone of his voice, it was way too much for me to process in that moment.

Two months?!?!…Two months?!?! Where were you? Who were you with? What happened? A whirlwind of thoughts and emotions running through my mind. So much so that I couldn’t begin to answer his question, I had too many of my own. Questions I don’t think will ever get answered. Not at the level in which I need. His answers, at best, would be vague and at a level that would allow him to save face.

Which still leaves me with, how do I begin to formulate a proper response to this seemingly simple question? Wouldn’t you agree this requires some deeper thought? At least, more than one might initially assume anyway.

So several days go by allowing me to get over the initial shock of the phone call, the question and also allowing me to vent to my girlfriends. After this, I was finally able to articulate what was in my heart.

My response…I loved the person I thought you to be. I loved the representative. The idea…the potential…but at this point in my life, that’s not enough.

Truth be told, it should have never been enough, because what that would mean is, I didn’t love me enough.

These are some tough, hard truths that we as women have to face sometimes. Truths that can often shatter OUR hopes and OUR dreams that we had for OUR lives. Notice I said OUR.

This can leave open questions that begin with when, what, and how? When is he coming? What do I do now? How are you going to work this out?

Only to hear silence…nothing…my hurt, my pain, my cries are so loud and You…where are You?

I’m here…

Where?

In the silence…in the seemingly nothingness…I’m here…Be still…Do you love me? Did you ever love me?

Of course…

Show me…with your life…with your trust and faith in the plan I have for you. It won’t look like others, it won’t feel like others but I am with you guiding you every step of the way. Will you trust me? Will you love me? With the same measure of trust and love you put in men? I am doing a new thing…trust and lean on me and me alone. Can you do that?

Yes…

Your willingness and obedience have freed you from the bondage of The What, The How and The When because you now know The Who.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19

Hidden Issues

Aug25

woman-hiding-in-fur-coat-and-sunglasses Talking to a girlfriend today I stumbled upon a hidden issue. We were catching up so we were kind of all over the place, and just hitting on a lot of different topics. I honestly can’t remember what led to this particular topic but before getting off the phone I shared with her a conversation my brother and I had about some events that took place in our childhood. During the conversation with my brother we revealed to one another our feelings regarding these events. It was very enlightening… we both had very different perspectives on what had taken place and how everything unfolded.

Well…it wasn’t until today when I was repeating the story out loud that it hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m not sure why it didn’t pack the same punch when my brother and I spoke about it but what I did know is that I needed to explore this a little further. I needed to get to the root. I needed to shed light on how this may have affected me and how it potentially played a part in my relationships.

Hopefully I’m not disclosing too much information and I have already asked my brother’s permission about sharing but I pray that what I write next blesses you and ultimately releases you from any past bondage that still exists in your life today.

So just to give you a little background….

I was born in New Jersey and my mom, brother and I moved to North Carolina when I was around ten. My brother started “acting out” so eventually he moved back to New Jersey to live with my dad. My dad passed away several years later so my brother moved to Louisiana to live with my Uncle. My brother and my Uncle weren’t seeing eye- to- eye so my brother eventually came back to North Carolina to live with us again.

A lot…yeah, I know…

Well, this was the basis of the conversation with my brother. He opened up to me saying that he felt everyone was always trying to get rid of him since he kept getting bounced around from house to house. I opened up to him and said I felt that no one wanted me because no one fought for me like they fought for him. I mean, when the court system is involved, you’re kind of a big deal.

So how could this have affected me today…

I unknowingly carried this around with me. I subconsciously wanted someone to fight for me….someone to want boxer me….for me to mean that much to someone that they would go thru “hell and high water” to keep me in their lives, I desired to be special. I wanted to be that really big teddy bear that people spent a lot of money on to win at State Fairs. Guess what….this never happened…or did it?

It is a very true and fair statement to say that no male or female, for that matter, has been able to fill this deep down longing of mine. But although they didn’t…and couldn’t….one Man could.

Jesus died for me….the ultimate sacrifice. He was pierced in His side, his feet and his hands…he bled for me. He more than filled this void for me. He longed for me and I now long for Him. He knows the number of hairs on my head, he knows my uprising and down falling, He knew me before I was born, he knit me together in my mother’s womb.

For so many years I longed for someone to long for me with the same intensity you see in romance movies. Someone did….and now I am ready for Him to heal those broken places and accept His unconditional love.

If you have never taken the time to uncover your hidden issues, I plead with you…please do. He wants to free the broken hearted….Let Him!

Let’s experience this freedom together!

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~ForeverTrina

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free.” Luke 4:18

Identity Crisis

Apr13

Jesus and his disciples went on to the villages around Caesarea Philippi. On the way he asked them, “Who do people say I am?” They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, one of the prophets.” “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Peter answered, “You are the Messiah.” Mark 8:27-30 (NIV)

When I read this scripture it had me thinking…

Who do people say I am? Who do I say I am? Who do You say I am?

I set out to answer the first two questions and this is what surfaced…melancholy, not a naturally happy person, prone to depression, glass half-empty, realist/idealist, cynical, bitter, moody, emotional, analytical, up and down, flawed in my thinking, not good at public speaking, not a good friend, selfish, plays the victim.

Yeah, I know, not too positive, huh? This list was written after a somewhat challenging day but even still, has been a recurring theme in my life. Something I keep coming back to. These labels, these defining words never seem to go away. I just can’t seem to shake them. Why?

Are we predisposed to certain things…a way of thinking, personality traits, personality flaws?

Why are some people overly happy while other people overly sad?

Why are some people so mean spirited, while others are so kind? thought-bubble-updated

The more and more I think about these questions and whether I am predisposed to being one way over the other, my initial answer is no, of course not….then after further thought my answer is yes….then after even more thought my answer is yes and no…it depends. Sadly, that is a true depiction of my thought processes on a variety of topics. Why can’t I just pick a side? Well…not everything is that simple…not everything is that black and white.

It’s easy to say I was born this way but I don’t know if I believe that. We are all born into this world the same way, naked and unashamed. But although that is true, the one major difference is the family and environments we are born into. This is where the gray area is. Haven’t you seen siblings or heard stories of siblings who grew up in the same household, afforded the same opportunities but yet they are like night and day. One is a hellion while the other is a picture of perfection. God has made us uniquely different so our perception of reality will be different. How things are perceived from one person to the next will inevitably vary. I believe this is by design. The intricacies of the human mind and human nature will leave you standing in awe – absolutely mind blowing and boggling all at the same time.

What am I trying to say here? We have been born into an imperfect world thanks to Adam and Eve. Our perceptions of life and how we cope and deal with things are formed at a very young age. Our coping mechanisms make it easier to deal with the hardships of life. Some choose to drink, some choose to laugh, some choose sarcasm or cynicism. Whatever your vice, it was what was taught to you or learned or innately developed to cushion the blow that life can sometimes throw at you. It’s to protect you. As children, our parents should provide that protection, they should shield us from the elements, the evils of the world. But what if they were unable or incapable of providing that? What if they were the ones you needed shielding from? Growing up you feel your parents are perfect. Even if you know and see the flaws there is still something deep down inside that wants to believe and paint them as superman or superwoman. But our parents are just as flawed and just as human as we are. I feel they did the best they could with what they were given but it boils down to “you don’t know, what you don’t know”. How do you know to do better if you don’t know what better is…you were never exposed to it. Your parents teach you, their parents taught them , and so on. A pattern develops…and unfortunately, so do generational curses.

lion

Our identity, for a large part of our life, is what we see in our parents, other people and then painted by life’s experiences. It is only when we come into the true revelation of God that we are able to see clearly. We gain a different perspective because our identity is no longer limited to an imperfect person or an imperfect world but it is now framed by a perfect God. Who else to tell you who you are then the one who made you?

Now what? Since birth I’ve been “told” I’m one person and now you’re telling me, not so, that’s not who you are, your true identity is in Christ? And now I must deprogram and debug all these years of what I accepted as being me??? Kinda scary but yet exciting at the same time. Scary because it’s like, it took this long to finally come to terms with who I am, so how many more years will it take me to find me again? But even with that thought, it’s still exciting to think of exploring and embarking on a new journey and direction in life. Especially when the things you learned to accept about yourself aren’t the most flattering and have likely been that thing you were fighting or still trying to overcome. You can now say, I am not those things. I thought that was who I was but because now I know my identity is in Christ, those labels put on me are null and void and I am now on a mission to find out what God says about me.

There may be some resistance against this new revelation, both internal and external, but that is a natural reaction to change and something you will need to push past. I have a t-shirt that was given to me by a marine that says, “pain is weakness leaving the body”. In my pain, I am becoming stronger. In my discomfort, I am being stretched.

So I am going to end this the same way I started…Who do people say I am? Who do I say I am? Who do You say I am? Do not allow other people or even the perception you have of yourself define who you are. Make sure you find your true identity in Christ.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

High School Drama

Mar19

So my girlfriend turned me on to this teeny bopper show…One Tree Hill. I turned my nose up to it at first but it has unexpectedly drawn me in…go figure.

High school drama can be pretty interesting. Correction…this high school’s drama is pretty interesting. It’s not your normal, everyday high school drama we’ve all come to know and love. It’s not laced with the violence of gangs or even the bickering of young girls….at least not yet, I’m only on season one. This drama is deeper than that. But I guess all drama has a root and is deeper than the action being portrayed. I just like the subtle way in which this drama-filled high school’s story unfolds.

The very sad part is how I found a way to correlate the lives of these tv characters to our everyday lives. Yes, you and me.

Simply put, The source of their drama is family. And the source of a lot of our drama is family. We are all, in one way or another, trying to break free and function outside the dysfunction we unfortunately had a front row seat to growing up. Our need and desire to function after the dysfunction is real. Learning how to simply “be” after peeling back all the layers that life tends to pile on is a struggle.

The lyrics to the theme song say it all…

I don’t want to be anything other than what I’ve been trying to be lately

All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind

I’m tired of looking ’round rooms wondering what I gotta do

Or who I’m supposed to be

I don’t want to be anything other than me

It’s amazing how something so seemingly surface could be so incredibly deep.

Just a bunch of kids trying to figure out their place in life outside of what expectations were placed on them, whether it be family, society or even themselves. Sound familiar? Some of us as adults are still living this today.

Still on a journey to becoming who we were meant to be. Still peeling back layers, still trying to get to the root of it all.

So when will the journey to becoming end? When will I finally rid myself of this high school drama? Only God knows. But my advice to you would be to sit back, pop in that old ‘Xscape’ cassette and make ‘Just Kicking It’ your theme song. Because you’re about to be laid back, kicking it and enjoying the ride for some time. The road to becoming is cross country…not down the street or around the corner. Settle in!

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

“…The race is not always to the swift…” Ecclesiastes 9:11 (MSG)

On Purpose

Feb16

footprintstop

Over the past week I’ve received confirmation after confirmation that I’m exactly where I need to be. This single season is very much on purpose and in line with God’s purpose.

Sometimes you wonder, is there purpose in this pain, in this loneliness, in this dry season? Yes – absolutely!

It was in this seemingly “bad hand that I’ve been dealt” season that I have been stretched, I have grown, I have matured and I am finally at a place of peace. It took me some time to get here but now that I am, I wouldn’t trade the journey for the world. Where I am now and the process I went thru to get here will be needed in the next season. God is setting me up and preparing me for all that He has promised. I thought he had forsaken me but quite the opposite. He waited for me. He chased me. He allowed people to come in and out of my life and He always remained constant. You rarely get 1 + 1 = 2 with God. He never is and never will be that predictable. But in an equation where there is a constant and a variable, He is always The Constant…The One.

Ladies, there is purpose in the process.

What situation are you enduring today that you’re like, “God, there is no way you can be in this. Why would you have me to endure such pain? I want to see you in everything but this one right here, I don’t know…you’ve truly thrown me for a loop”. Well, I am here to tell you, from experience, that it is in these moments you should be confident in knowing you are exactly where you need to be. He is preparing you for something big and pushing you closer to what He has promised. He is pressing and pruning you …God is trying to get us to a place of total reliance on Him despite what it looks like and despite the circumstance.

Truth moment…I use to look at relationships and marriage as something that could provide love, affection, sense of identity, belonging, feeling wanted, etc. Although those are characteristics that can result from a healthy relationship and marriage, my expectations were for the relationship to be all these things all of the time and that is impossible and an irrational expectation on my part. That person would fail each and every time. Not to mention, I am placing an unattainable and unreasonable expectation on someone. This person was never meant to be and incapable of being all things to me. God is the only one who can. What I wanted and ultimately needed was not in man, but in God. With this renewed perspective I am able to approach relationships differently. A lot less needy and a lot more healthy. I finally put man and God in their proper place.

So now what, the things I thought I should receive from a man, I should actually be receiving from God??? Sooo, what do I need a man for? Lol…

Well, my man, my husband will be a physical representation of what I’m already receiving from God. Doesn’t that sound awesome? And a lot less pressure on the man too! He would have literally had to take on some superhuman qualities. Now when my husband is presented to me, I have a renewed perspective and outlook on marriage and what role we should both be playing.

Do you see why this season is so important? Without it, you will lack what you need in the next. God’s ultimate goal is to enhance His kingdom. Not too much of what we may be going thru is about us but it’s to reach a greater goal and purpose in Him. And believe it or not, God is just that loving that he wants to steer us clear of any unnecessary heartache. After all, His thoughts are not our thoughts neither His ways our ways. If I moved into the next season prematurely, before being given what is needed to endure in that season it could actually cause more harm than good. Trust God’s timing and trust that He has your back, your front, your side and everything in between. He’s looking out!

Let’s wait patiently, expectantly and on purpose. There is so much beauty in the discovery process. God will prove not to disappoint.

Be Brave, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11