New Hope

Hope has been a recurring theme in my life since the end of last year. The Christmas, Christmas Eve, New Years Eve and the first sermon of the year all had themes of hope. I should know by now that this was no coincidence. God was preparing me. It’s almost like when you pray for patience and then God places you in situations that require patience. I honestly stopped praying certain prayers…I know how God operates and I’m not ready for some things like patience…yuck!

I digress..

Thankfully God knows me and knows that I don’t openly volunteer for certain opportunities so He often takes it upon himself to prepare me despite my apparent unwillingness and sometimes resistance. Which brings me to hope. I had been hoping for something specific for years and have yet to receive this one thing. The times in which I thought I was finally being blessed with this “one thing” it turned out to be a cruel April Fools joke. After years of disappointment in this one area I decided why hope. It’s not worth it. God’s gonna do what he wants to with or without my hope….my prayers. So I was ready to throw away all hope in this one area. I had hoped for years to no avail…or had I?

My friend shared the following scriptures with me…

“But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently” Romans 8:25

“Who hopes for what he already has?” Romans 8:24

I struggled with that first scripture. If I hope for what I do not have I’ll wait patiently??? What kinda sense does that make? I just mentioned I’ve been hoping for years. So I’m sure you can imagine my patience level at this point. And here we go with that patience word again…yuck!

Then my Pastor shared yet another perspective on hope. The following hymnal lyrics pretty much sum it up…

“My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.”

My hope was in that “one thing” and when that “one thing” didn’t occur or work out my hope went with it. I had floating hope versus hope that is anchored in His promises. God is much more concerned with my heart, my growth, my character and wisdom gained thru what I place my hope in.

I say all that to say, this year I vow to place my hope in that one thing that is not shaken by the twist and turns of life…The Word. This and this alone brings about life and a New Hope…and dare I say…Patience.

Forever Learning, Forever Growing, Forever Maturing…Forever Trina.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

 

Build-A-Man Workshop

Don’t you sometimes wish you could build a man? I know I do.  He’d be the best man ever.  I would take the best qualities from all the men I’ve ever dated to make a super man.  It would be great…right?!?!?

He would be tall, dark and handsome….

  1. In perfect shape, meaning 6 or 8 pack
  2. Health conscious
  3. Loves to workout
  4. Nice dresser
  5. Easy on the eyes
  6. Nice hairline
  7. Perfect teeth
  8. Great smile
  9. Great personality
  10. Outgoing
  11. Sense of humor
  12. Good character
  13. Not easily angered
  14. Open-minded
  15. Patient
  16. Kind
  17. Affectionate
  18. Attentive
  19. Romantic
  20. Man of God…of course

Done….I think….at least for now.

My next step would be to take this list and submit it to God.  I have to include God in this. I need His blessing. Only he could fulfill this very specific request.

God’s response…

My desire is to build a woman.  A woman after My heart.  A woman’s heart that is so hidden in Me that a man would need to seek Me first to find you.

Simply put, God said, “I got you…leave this to Me.” He knows that when I put my hands in the mix I’d likely make a mess of things. Possibly put together a patchwork doll.

God not only knows what we need but what we desire.  When we try to put the puzzle pieces together ourselves we end up with a complete mess.  God can fit pieces together far greater than we can. In unexpected, amazing ways.

“…my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9 NLT

Another way to put it, trust God and quit trying to be God.

If only we stay in our lane we would find things working out as they should. Sometimes it seems counter-intuitive but then again…when I open my hand to release MY desires to God, God in turn is able to deposit HIS desires in what is now an open hand…and heart.

Doesn’t God have a way of making some really good points? If I can be totally honest with you, I’ve gotten everything on MY list before and it still turned out to be a hot mess.  Somehow I managed to leave some things off my list…go figure. I think I’ll leave the building of a man to Him.  And in the meantime, I’ll continue to allow God to build me into the woman He created me to be.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

Call To Pray

wall-between-couplesThe other day I woke up with a heavy heart for a friend who is going through a tough situation in his marriage.  I am not married and have never been married so I cannot begin to understand the breadth of what he’s dealing with but my heart still hurts for him.  I have experienced broken relationships and friendships and sometimes it can feel like someone has literally ripped your heart out.  I know my situations do not compare to the bond of marriage but the hurt is still real. I can remember a time in my life where the pain I endured due to a broken relationship was so unbearable that I asked God to take my life in my sleep. Being in heaven with Him was far greater than enduring this heartache here on earth.  God did not honor that request…clearly…I am still here.  What I learned? There is definitely purpose in our pain, in the tears we cry and every sleepless night.

So today I have been called to pray for anyone who has experienced or is experiencing or even knows someone experiencing this type of pain. My prayer will be specific to my friend but if you are believing God for a restored friendship or relationship whether it be with a spouse, significant other, family member or even business or professional – this prayer is for you too!


Dear Heavenly Father, I come to you as humbly as I know how first to say thank you. Thank you for being such a loving Father.  Thank you for being so sovereign and loving me even when I didn’t love myself.  Thank you for sending Your son to die for my sins knowing that despite this display of love, I would still at times reject You.

 

God, I want to repent for those times when I did reject Your love, Your wisdom and Your gentle calling to choose you this day who I will serve. When I chose to do it my way and reject Your loving kindness.  But God, you’re such a loving Father and grant free will and allow me to choose.  And when I have come to the end of myself and finally turn back to You, You were always there with open arms.  Thank you Father!

 

Now God, I come to you today with a very specific request for my friend “Tony”.  God, you said that the prayers of the righteous availeth much and that if I ask anything in Your name and believe in faith I shall receive it.  You also said that I should come boldly to the throne of grace that I may obtain mercy and find grace in the time of need.

 

Well God, I come boldly to Your throne, in right standing with You.  Having confessed my sins, known and unknown and believing You are a God who can move mountains. God, touch my friend “Tony”.  Touch him in places that only You can.  God restore his soul, his peace and his joy.  The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy but you’ve come that we might have life and have it more abundantly.  Restore life in him. And God, please restore his marriage.  God, give him the strength he needs to walk by faith and not by sight.

 

God, you are a redeemer of time. Redeem the time they have lost during this separation.  Touch his heart and give him direction in what he should do next.  From the outside looking in, it looks like it’s over but just when the world thinks it’s over, that’s when you show up and show yourself strong. In our weakness, you are made strong.  Show up in his marriage, show up in his weakness.  Allow him to trust you to move this seemingly unmovable mountain.

 

Just like Paul pleaded with You to remove the thorn but you didn’t, allow “Tony” to trust that there is a purpose in this pain.  If the situation doesn’t change right away, allow him to trust that Your desire is to ultimately change him in the situation. Soften his heart towards his wife and allow him to always display Christ-like love despite what is displayed towards him. Allow his love for You and desire to please You be a catalyst to his wife’s healing and turning her heart back to first You and then to him.  God heal any brokenness in her and break all generational curses and ungodly soul ties that have her bound. This is a spiritual battle and a spiritual battle cannot be fought with our logic and intellect.  This type of battle can only be fought with Your Word.

 

So I stand before you with the full armor of God on.  Standing firm with the belt of truth around my waist and breastplate of righteousness in place to let the devil know and put him on notice that he will no longer have a hold on “Tony’s” wife and marriage.  Weapons have been formed against them but they will not prosper. I cast the devil back into the fiery pits of hell from which he came. He has no authority here.

 

God, honor this prayer.  You said where two or three are gathered together, you will be in the midst.  God, I feel your presence and thank and praise You for it. God, continue to shine your blessings down on us and I will forever give Your name all the glory.

 

It is in Your Son’s name that I pray and leave it in Your hands.  Amen.

 

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

 

~Forever Trina

Do You Understand the Words That are Coming Out of My Mouth?

Ladies, listen to what a man says. Specifically regarding when he says he’s not looking for a relationship or he’s not ready. Even if he’s displaying “relationship type” actions such as texting you “Good Morning” everyday (which is lame by the way…let’s not be so common men…and let’s not be so easily moved ladies), saying “I miss you”,  “I think about you all the time even when I don’t call or text” (dude, how about you call or text), “I wanna hold you”, “we connect”, “God sent you to me”, “you’re wifey”…and the list goes on and on.  I’m sure I can write a complete blog about the words that come out of a man’s mouth that will have you saying, “do ya’ll all read from the same book?”. Some of you need an updated copy and not the signed collectors edition.

Ladies, didn’t God say there’s nothing new under the sun? Please apply this to your dating life and stop being so gullible. Even the enemy knows to revamp his tricks against you. That’s why we often get tripped up. The enemy doesn’t hide in plain sight. He knows we’re smarter than that. What we use to struggle with 5, 10, 15 years ago is no longer an issue. You may be experiencing a derivative of that struggle but not the same. So the enemy is forced to up his game. Fortunately, most men aren’t that smart but there are a few out there who are so its important for you to stay on top of your game.

guard-your-heart
“Above everything else, guard your heart; for it is the source of life’s consequences” Proverbs 4:23 CJB

Ladies, we are very emotional beings and this doesn’t always work in our favor. So the sweet nothings a man whispers in your ear, the kind words, the gentle touch can often translate into wedding bells. We really gotta work on that. I’m becoming a huge believer in self talk. Yes, I talk to myself and sometimes answer. I was telling a friend just the other day that I feel like I talk to myself more than I talk to other people. But why not? The world is so loud. Telling you how you should look, how you should think and that can sometimes drown out what God says about you.  So yes, I am sometimes on a bullhorn telling Trina…you are fearfully and wonderfully made, you were made in His image, you are the apple of His eye, etc, etc. And if the batteries die in my bullhorn I have friends blaring in my ear those same things.

You gotta have a squad. I thank God for mine…a very diverse group of ladies…and a few gents but they are able to talk me off a ledge.

I have one friend, let’s call her “Stone Cold Steve Austin”, home girl don’t play. If a man says, those three words…”I’m Not Ready”, she doesn’t care what you say or do after that, she will not think otherwise. A man woustone-cold-steve-austin-3-16-texas-rattle-snake-wwe-hdld have to explicitly say another three words…”I Am Ready” before she moves forward.

I definitely have to move more toward that mindset.

I digress…

As much as we’d like men to say what they mean and mean what they say, that may not always happen. So it’s even more important for you as a woman to know what you want and hold true to that. I’ve had several friends say, “why are you so concerned about what he wants, what do you want?”.  A lot of times knowing what you want will cancel out any confusion you may have about whether a man wants to commit to you or not. Because let me tell you, a man with a plan is not thinking about you.  He cannot be moved. If he says I’m focused on work, school, whatever. Trust him, he is and his focus will not be deterred. We as women will change our focus plan into a flexible plan for a man.

All I’m saying ladies is listen to the words that are coming out of his mouth. Those initial words…that will determine the fate and direction of that relationship. Words and actions need to align.

Hopefully it didn’t sound like I was going on a tangent, ranting and raving or man bashing.  Far from it. Nor am I lecturing.  What I write is from my experience and my perspective. I’m talking to little Trina as well as the grown up Trina who has it all together…haha, I wish!

My goal is to empower women. We can be so strong and so smart in so many different areas but that three letter word…MEN, can turn a PhD into a pre-school diploma. So if my pitfalls can help you overcome yours or better yet, never experience them at all then I’ve accomplished what I set out to do.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

 

~Forever Trina

Blog Bite: Change Management

change-signHave you ever noticed that when people ask, “how are you?” they really don’t mean it or even care or wait around long enough to hear the response?  Most people are looking for “good” to be your response so please don’t throw them off by saying anything contrary.  God forbid you cause them to slow down from their busy day by responding truthfully.  That would be so rude of you.

Also, haven’t you found it to be true that when people say, “if you need anything, call me”, it’s really just a nice gesture? Most people really don’t want you to call and will likely have your name listed with a code word after it or a special ringtone to ensure they don’t accidentally answer the call.

Now hopefully these are just my personal and somewhat cynical views as opposed to those of the general population but then again….look at the times.

Soooo…with that being said, how about when people say, “I’m excited about your growth”…do they really mean it? With growth comes change, not just change for that person but change for everyone in that person’s life.  Are you up for it? Can you stand by and follow through on your initial response to that person’s growth or is the initial response…the nice but empty gesture, what holds true in your heart? Think on it!

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

 

“…For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks” Matthew 12:34 (NKJV)

 

 

 

House Call

Fresh-produce-650x497After serving one Sunday, two young ladies and myself visited a couple who attends our church.  The husband recently had an accident while doing yard work and was out of commission for several weeks. While we were visiting he gave us the details of his accident in addition to several past, very similar nature related accidents; which led us to the executive decision to ban him from all outdoor activities. We made a mandate that he must go directly from the house to the car, he could not pass go, he could not collect two-hundred dollars. Nature just didn’t seem to agree with him.

Nature seemed to have a particular interest in him falling…literally.  However, God had a particular interest in him soaring.  After leaving their house that day, all I could think was, wow, the hands of God are on him and his family.

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Like most of us, they experienced various tests and trials throughout their lives but their faith remained strong and stood the test of time. They always kept God at the center of it all and raised their two boys and even the friends of their boys to honor and respect God in the same way.volleyball

They were committed to seeing people far from God being raised to life in Christ, and as a result opened their home to many. From praise and worship and Bible Study in their living room to girls playing volleyball in the front yard while the boys played basketball in the backyard…with the boys eventually making their way to the front to join in with the girls. It’s like their home was built for this, they were built for this. Their destiny was predetermined.

Now this level of commitment does not come without sacrifice….like an occasional 3am call from one of the kids in your youth group saying he needs you to bail him out of jail or a 6 hour drive to pick up another kid stuck on the side of the road…on a weekday while still having to make it to work on time the next day. These could have been seen as inconveniences and I’m sure they may have had some choice words specifically for the jailbird but ultimately I would imprisoner-behind-barsagine they felt honored for the opportunity to be able to display the love of Christ to these kids, and display how He extends His forgiveness, grace and mercy despite the transgression.

So needless to say, they were That couple with That house.

Well, as they were talking I’m thinking, it must have been nice as a kid to grow up in this type of environment. And even more, to be the couple who had the opportunity to pour into and impact so many. I wonder if this still exists?  I mean, I know their kids are grown and leading their own lives now but I guess my question is, are there still people out there making a difference, being impactful? Opening their home? Not people in the public eye but just normal everyday people? And dare I say, Christians??? Or are we all of the mantra, “my four and no more”?

I want to have the same impact on people…at least I think I do…

I guess what I’m trying to say is, am I walking out the core value “Believe Big and Start Small” in my own life? Am I asking people how can I help you or what can I do for you… and really meaning it? Am I ready and willing to be taken up on that offer or is it an empty gesture?

Many of us are so quick to say, I want to impact the world but do we really understand what we’re asking God for? Are you willing to take up your cross? Are you willing to put aside your own wills and desires for God’s? Are you willing to be inconvenienced? If you answered yes, how are you honoring those in the same household as you? How about on your job? Have you committed to the space God currently has you in? God has this amazing ability of often placing before you the very thing you’ve been asking Him for.

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So let’s circle back to our couple friends.  They are a living example of you reap what you sow.  They poured out an abundance of love over the years and in their time of need, an abundance of love was being poured back into them.  We were just one of many that stopped by to show our love and support for them and that blessed me tremendously.

It was great taking a glimpse into this couple’s life but it ultimately made me take a glimpse into my own. What am I doing to impact the world, my local community, my church, my workplace, my family and friends?

A life of servanthood could be viewed as sacrifice but what you receive in return is far greater than you can imagine.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

 

“So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith.”   Galatians 6:9-10 (MSG)

Hidden Issues

woman-hiding-in-fur-coat-and-sunglassesTalking to a girlfriend today I stumbled upon a hidden issue.  We were catching up so we were kind of all over the place, and just hitting on a lot of different topics. I honestly can’t remember what led to this particular topic but before getting off the phone I shared with her a conversation my brother and I had about some events that took place in our childhood.  During the conversation with my brother we revealed to one another our feelings regarding these events.  It was very enlightening… we both had very different perspectives on what had taken place and how everything unfolded.

Well…it wasn’t until today when I was repeating the story out loud that it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I’m not sure why it didn’t pack the same punch when my brother and I spoke about it but what I did know is that I needed to explore this a little further.  I needed to get to the root.  I needed to shed light on how this may have affected me and how it potentially played a part in my relationships.

Hopefully I’m not disclosing too much information and I have already asked my brother’s permission about sharing but I pray that what I write next blesses you and ultimately releases you from any past bondage that still exists in your life today.

So just to give you a little background….

I was born in New Jersey and my mom, brother and I moved to North Carolina when I was around ten.   My brother started “acting out” so eventually he moved back to New Jersey to live with my dad.  My dad passed away several years later so my brother moved to Louisiana to live with my Uncle.  My brother and my Uncle weren’t seeing eye- to- eye so my brother eventually came back to North Carolina to live with us again.

A lot…yeah, I know…

Well, this was the basis of the conversation with my brother.  He opened up to me saying that he felt everyone was always trying to get rid of him since he kept getting bounced around from house to house.  I opened up to him and said I felt that no one wanted me because no one fought for me like they fought for him.  I mean, when the court system is involved, you’re kind of a big deal.

So how could this have affected me today…

I unknowingly carried this around with me.  I subconsciously wanted someone to fight for me….someone to want boxerme….for me to mean that much to someone that they would go thru “hell and high water” to keep me in their lives, I desired to be special.  I wanted to be that really big teddy bear that people spent a lot of money on to win at State Fairs.  Guess what….this never happened…or did it?

It is a very true and fair statement to say that no male or female, for that matter, has been able to fill this deep down longing of mine.  But although they didn’t…and couldn’t….one Man could.

Jesus died for me….the ultimate sacrifice.  He was pierced in His side, his feet and his hands…he bled for me.  He more than filled this void for me.  He longed for me and I now long for Him.  He knows the number of hairs on my head, he knows my uprising and down falling, He knew me before I was born, he knit me together in my mother’s womb.

For so many years I longed for someone to long for me with the same intensity you see in romance movies.  Someone did….and now I am ready for Him to heal those broken places and accept His unconditional love.

If you have never taken the time to uncover your hidden issues, I plead with you…please do.  He wants to free the broken hearted….Let Him!

Let’s experience this freedom together!

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~ForeverTrina

 

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.  He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free.”  Luke 4:18

 

 

Conflict Management

conflictMe and conflict are enemies. I will avoid it with a 10-foot pole.  I often shy away from it, run from it, duck and dive, bob and weave, exit stage left and will even roger rabbit my way out of a room if challenged with confronting it.  Just not my thing…I literally suck at it. My heart races, voice starts to shake, pretty much any outward expression one would experience when faced with fear is pretty much what happens to me when faced with conflict.

I’m not as quick on my feet as I would like to be.  And as luck would have it, the people that I’ve had confrontational situations with always seem to have the knack for it. It’s like they’ve earned an advanced degree in thwarting any type of ownership, disqualifying any feeling, emotion or opinion you have about a topic and doing it all in one breath. Now, when I say I’m not quick on my feet, it’s regarding a tactful, polite response befitting of a Christian young lady.  If I didn’t have to be loving and caring and think twice about the consequences of my words before they came spewing out my mouth and instead could just shoot straight from the hip, I could go round-for-round. Funny how those nice, colorful, non-edifying words have a way of rolling off your tongue like butter.

At any rate, here’s how my most recent bout with conflict transpired. I was in a leadership class and the topic was ‘The Cause of Confrontation”.  Several great points were made that provided a new perspective on the topic.  One being how conflict has held onto the number one spot for being the baddest of the bad boys for sometime now. But is conflict really all that bad? Or does bad really mean good? Could it be that conflict can bring about growth and development opportunities? Could it be that it’s not about two opposing forces squaring off, or about a winner or a loser but more about active listening?   Hmmm…could it be that I’ve been wrong about conflict all this time? Instead of embracing it I’ve been running from something that could help me reach my fullest potential?

So of course I’m feverishly taking notes, this is some good stuff…some good teaching.  I proceed with…”yeah…that’s good Pastor…you better say that, I’m fist bumping, chest bumping, and ready to rule the world. Well, how about the very next day I was tested with what I learned and I failed with flying colors. If there was ever a complete and utter fail that could go down in history, this would be it. If you Google’d fail, the Wikipedia article that would come up would have my picture beside it. Even the memory verse for the week about the seed falling on good soil was lost on me.  I literally went into commando, rogue mode and failed to apply everything I just learned.

Well…the story didn’t end well, actually it’s still being written.

But one thing is certain, when I woke up the next morning I was desperately needing for God to redeem me, to hold me, to comfort me, to give me peace and direction. Prayerfully, He led me to several scriptures in Proverbs…the book of wisdom.

The one that specifically stood out to me and could be directly applied to this situation was Proverbs 14:17…”A quick-tempered man does foolish things…”

Ouch! God’s word…sharper than any double-edge sword.

So after reading that I’m like, really God…Et tu, Brute (Shakespeare reference…look it up)? I’m being persecuted, forsaken, cast down and destroyed by You too. Yes, quite the drama queen. Of course He calmed that down pretty quickly. And the words I wish would have come back to me in the moment of confrontation, came back to me in my quiet time.

  • Don’t be easily offended
  • Conversations that are bringing about correction can sting
  • Conflict can create growth opportunities

Whew! Powerful stuff!

I am learning how important it is to stay close to God.  He brings correction, it may sting but it’s always followed up with wisdom, love, comfort and peace. But I will say, God is the best public relations and damage control rep I know.  The aftermath of this epic fail could have been a lot worse but the grace of God….it is definitely to be reverenced. I am being blessed in the midst of it all and prayerfully when confronted with conflict in the future I am able to draw upon what I learned from this situation.  I honestly didn’t think I would be tested so quickly this time around but then again, why am I surprised?

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

He Said Yes!

yes-man1He said yes….
to my no
to my maybe later
to my some day
to my doubt
to my distrust
to my wandering
to my, not right now
to my compromise
to my worrying
to my backbiting
to my stressing
to my control issues

Yet, despite all of my No’s…He still said Yes!

Now I will say…
Yes, I’m committed
Yes, today
Yes, I believe
Yes, I trust You
Yes, I will remain steadfast and unmovable
Yes, right now
Yes, I will uphold Your standard
Yes, I will accept Your peace
Yes, I will praise You
Yes, I will rest in You
Yes, I will release all control to You

Why? Because You did it for me on Calvary!

You knew me before I was formed in my mother’s womb.  You knew every success and failure I would encounter.  You knew every straight and crooked path I would take.  You knew every detour in life and shamefully, even the number of times I would deny even knowing You…in my action and inaction…and You still said Yes!

God, I will commit to continue making this the year of my Yes!

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~ForeverTrina

“Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field.”  James 4:8 MSG

 

The “V” Word!

img_4387“… vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it’s also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.” Brenee Brown

I was introduced to Brenee Brown and her TEDtalk on vulnerability a few years back….from a counselor actually. And to my surprise, her name came up again in a sermon my Pastor was preaching and he too was introduced to her by a counselor. Kindred spirits maybe? Either that or a prerequisite to being a counselor is to listen or read her material.

I digress…

How many of us would benefit from being more vulnerable in our relationships…both personal and professional?

When I think of vulnerability, I also think of her friends, secret and shame and even her friend of a friend, fear. The inability to be vulnerable typical stems from information you may be withholding…a secret that you don’t want exposed, something that may bring you, your family or other innocent bystanders’ shame. You hold on to whatever it is so tightly that it actually produces the opposite effect of what one would expect.

Fear is usually lurking somewhere in the background of all of this.  A fear of being found out or maybe a fear of being rejected by others. So in our angst to avoid the exposure or the uncomfortable feeling that comes along with being vulnerable we instead create disconnection rather than closer, healthier relationships.

Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5

These uncomfortable feelings have an end date. We are so busy ducking and diving and hiding but not seeking that we end up missing out on some great opportunities to grow, relate, understand and simply be human.

We subconsciously jump from the frying pan into the fire. We move further from our intended end goal of closer connections and relationships and never stop to figure out why.

We endure self-inflicted pain and bondage versus the freedom God desires for us.

Secrets can ruin relationships. And the enemy knows that. He would like nothing more than to divide a marriage, a friendship and a family. We’re stronger together and more susceptible to his tricks when we’re apart. So he will use that one thing to bring about separation and use it as a curse when it was designed to be a blessing.

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” John 10:10


So, I love the movie “Peeples”. It is absolutely hilarious. Kerry Washington, David Alan Grier and Craig Robinson are a few of the stars in this movie.

Spoiler alert…

The family in this movie has its fair share of secrets. It didn’t destroy the family but it could have. The family was pretty much held hostage by the pride of the father.

Pride…another friend of vulnerability…this chick is popular! But definitely not the friend you want…it can lead the further disconnection in relationships.

And had the father not decided to “unfriend” his pride the story could have ended differently. Something to think of in our own lives. How many times have we allowed pride to further bury a secret and once it was finally revealed or dug up it blew up in our face?  To leave everyone exposed, hurt and possibly even betrayed.

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So the major theme of the movie was surrounding secrets.  There was actually a cute little song that went along with this theme…”Speak it, don’t leak it”. You wanna hear it? Here it go!

Speak it, don’t leak it
Don’t keep your feelings secret
Say it, don’t spray it
That’s how the big kids play it
Don’t repress it, express it
They ain’t no crime in confessing
When you’re dealing with your feelings, you would rather be concealing…
So if you thinking about that #1
There ain’t no curing in that urine
Speak it, don’t leak it!

Cute, huh? Aside from the “explicit lyric”.  Haha…

But I say all that to say, true freedom is found in vulnerability. Nothing good can come from the inability to be vulnerable due to secrets, shame, fear or pride. I’ve seen this play out in my life, relationships and even career.  My own insecurities set me back and I am now trying to make up for lost time.  But thankfully, God is a redeemer of time.  God can do in seconds what would typically take years. Let Him!

Lay it at His feet today and watch Him allow you to prosper just as your soul prospers.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina