Tag Archive | steven furtick

Hidden Issues

woman-hiding-in-fur-coat-and-sunglassesTalking to a girlfriend today I stumbled upon a hidden issue.  We were catching up so we were kind of all over the place, and just hitting on a lot of different topics. I honestly can’t remember what led to this particular topic but before getting off the phone I shared with her a conversation my brother and I had about some events that took place in our childhood.  During the conversation with my brother we revealed to one another our feelings regarding these events.  It was very enlightening… we both had very different perspectives on what had taken place and how everything unfolded.

Well…it wasn’t until today when I was repeating the story out loud that it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I’m not sure why it didn’t pack the same punch when my brother and I spoke about it but what I did know is that I needed to explore this a little further.  I needed to get to the root.  I needed to shed light on how this may have affected me and how it potentially played a part in my relationships.

Hopefully I’m not disclosing too much information and I have already asked my brother’s permission about sharing but I pray that what I write next blesses you and ultimately releases you from any past bondage that still exists in your life today.

So just to give you a little background….

I was born in New Jersey and my mom, brother and I moved to North Carolina when I was around ten.   My brother started “acting out” so eventually he moved back to New Jersey to live with my dad.  My dad passed away several years later so my brother moved to Louisiana to live with my Uncle.  My brother and my Uncle weren’t seeing eye- to- eye so my brother eventually came back to North Carolina to live with us again.

A lot…yeah, I know…

Well, this was the basis of the conversation with my brother.  He opened up to me saying that he felt everyone was always trying to get rid of him since he kept getting bounced around from house to house.  I opened up to him and said I felt that no one wanted me because no one fought for me like they fought for him.  I mean, when the court system is involved, you’re kind of a big deal.

So how could this have affected me today…

I unknowingly carried this around with me.  I subconsciously wanted someone to fight for me….someone to want boxerme….for me to mean that much to someone that they would go thru “hell and high water” to keep me in their lives, I desired to be special.  I wanted to be that really big teddy bear that people spent a lot of money on to win at State Fairs.  Guess what….this never happened…or did it?

It is a very true and fair statement to say that no male or female, for that matter, has been able to fill this deep down longing of mine.  But although they didn’t…and couldn’t….one Man could.

Jesus died for me….the ultimate sacrifice.  He was pierced in His side, his feet and his hands…he bled for me.  He more than filled this void for me.  He longed for me and I now long for Him.  He knows the number of hairs on my head, he knows my uprising and down falling, He knew me before I was born, he knit me together in my mother’s womb.

For so many years I longed for someone to long for me with the same intensity you see in romance movies.  Someone did….and now I am ready for Him to heal those broken places and accept His unconditional love.

If you have never taken the time to uncover your hidden issues, I plead with you…please do.  He wants to free the broken hearted….Let Him!

Let’s experience this freedom together!

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~ForeverTrina

 

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.  He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free.”  Luke 4:18

 

 

Identity Crisis

mirror-reflection-600x370Jesus and his disciples went on to the villages around Caesarea Philippi. On the way he asked them, “Who do people say I am?” They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, one of the prophets.” “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Peter answered, “You are the Messiah.” Mark 8:27-30 (NIV)

When I read this scripture it had me thinking…

Who do people say I am? Who do I say I am? Who do You say I am?

I set out to answer the first two  questions and this is what surfaced…melancholy, not a naturally happy person, prone to depression, glass half-empty, realist/idealist, cynical, bitter, moody, emotional, analytical, up and down, flawed in my thinking, not good at public speaking, not a good friend, selfish, plays the victim.

Yeah, I know, not too positive, huh?  This list was written after a somewhat challenging day but even still, has been a recurring theme in my life.  Something I keep coming back to.  These labels, these defining words never seem to go away.  I just can’t seem to shake them.  Why?

Are we predisposed to certain things…a way of thinking, personality traits, personality flaws?

Why are some people overly happy while other people overly sad?

Why are some people so mean spirited, while others are so kind?thought-bubble-updated

The more and more I think about these questions and whether I am predisposed to being one way over the other, my initial answer is no, of course not….then after further thought my answer is yes….then after even more thought my answer is yes and no…it depends.  Sadly, that is a true depiction of my thought processes on a variety of topics.  Why can’t I just pick a side? Well…not everything is that simple…not everything is that black and white.

It’s easy to say I was born this way but I don’t know if I believe that.  We are all born into this world the same way, naked and unashamed.  But although that is true, the one  major difference is the family and environments we are born into.  This is where the gray area is.  Haven’t you seen siblings or heard stories of siblings who grew up in the same household, afforded the same opportunities but yet they are like night and day.  One is a hellion while the other is a picture of perfection.  God has made us uniquely different so our perception of reality will be different.  How things are perceived from one person to the next will inevitably vary.  I believe this is by design.  The intricacies of the human mind and human nature will leave you standing in awe – absolutely mind blowing and boggling all at the same time.

What am I trying to say here?  We have been born into an imperfect world thanks to Adam and Eve.  Our perceptions of life and how we cope and deal with things are formed at a very young age.  Our coping mechanisms make it easier to deal with the hardships of life.  Some choose to drink, some choose to laugh, some choose sarcasm or cynicism.  Whatever your vice, it was what was taught to you or learned or innately developed to cushion the blow that life can sometimes throw at you.  It’s to protect you.  As children, our parents should provide that protection, they should shield us from the elements, the evils of the world.  But what if they were unable or incapable of providing that? What if they were the ones you needed shielding from?  Growing up you feel your parents are perfect.  Even if you know and see the flaws there is still something deep down inside that wants to believe and paint them as superman or superwoman.  But our parents are just as flawed and just as human as we are.  I feel they did the best they could with what they were given but it boils down to “you don’t know, what you don’t know”.  How do you know to do better if you don’t know what better is…you were never exposed to it.  Your parents teach you, their parents taught them , and so on.  A pattern develops…and unfortunately, so do generational curses.

lion

Our identity, for a large part of our life, is what we see in our parents, other people and then painted by life’s experiences.  It is only when we come into the true revelation of God that we are able to see clearly.  We gain a different perspective because our identity is no longer limited to an imperfect person or an imperfect world but it is now framed by a perfect God.  Who else to tell you who you are then the one who made you?

Now what?  Since birth I’ve been “told” I’m one person and now you’re telling me, not so, that’s not who you are, your true identity is in Christ? And now I must deprogram and debug all these years of what I accepted as being me???  Kinda scary but yet exciting at the same time.  Scary because it’s like, it took this long to finally come to terms with who I am, so how many more years will it take me to find me again?  But even with that thought, it’s still exciting to think of exploring and embarking on a new journey and direction in life.  Especially when the things you learned to accept about yourself aren’t the most flattering and have likely been that thing you were fighting or still trying to overcome.  You can now say, I am not those things.  I thought that was who I was but because now I know my identity is in Christ, those labels put on me are null and void and I am now on a mission to find out what God says about me.

There may be some resistance against this new revelation, both internal and external, but that is a natural reaction to change and something you will need to push past. I have a t-shirt that was given to me by a marine that says, “pain is weakness leaving the body”.  In my pain, I am becoming stronger.  In my discomfort, I am being stretched.

So I am going to end this the same way I started…Who do people say I am? Who do I say I am? Who do You say I am?   Do not allow other people or even the perception you have of yourself define who you are.  Make sure you find your true identity in Christ.

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

Pimp Slapped

Has anyone ever payed you a backhanded compliment?

A compliment like…

You are too skinny, You are too tall, You are too short, You are too smart, You are too quiet, You are too healthy, You exercise too much, Your feet are too big, etc, etc, etc…

These compliments (you’ll read later why I refer to them this way) can often catch you off guard and you say to yourself, did she really say that??? You almost have to pray to keep from returning a slap or two yourself.

In this life I have learned that people will always have an opinion….that they unfortunately always feel led to share.

You will always be too much of something to someone….

Except God! God is purposeful and intentional. He placed certain things in you and left certain things out of you to be used for His glory. He did not make a mistake.

It took me some time to get to the point where I am no longer offended by all the ‘too’s’ of the world. So continue with the criticism…continue throwing shade because we all know that we only throw shade on what’s shining. So I guess I’m shining pretty bright!

Do I dim my light as to not blind others???

No!

I have been blessed with the confidence of knowing who I am in Christ and who he has called me to be. Criticisms are a direct reflection of the insecurities an individual has yet to resolve within themselves. Therefore, know that the very thing you are “too much” of is the very thing that God is using in you to reach your destiny.

Next time you’re pimp slapped with a back-handed compliment, turn the other cheek and say I know I am and I’m so glad. But make sure you say it in that back in the day, on the playground voice when you’re trying to defend yourself against the school bully by saying the anticlimactic…ultimate comeback of… “I know you are but what am I”.  And finish it up by sticking your tongue out…and praising God for your deliverance!

Be Bold, Be You, Be Blessed!

~Forever Trina

 

“You stare and stare at the obvious, but you can’t see the forest for the trees. If you’re looking for a clear example of someone on Christ’s side, why do you so quickly cut me out? Believe me, I am quite sure of my standing with Christ…..” 2 Corinthians 10:7 (The Message)